A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

Thursday, September 6, 2018

I'm struggling. Others are struggling more.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger... Guys, I'm struggling. I don't mean for this to sound like I am complaining, but I need to  vent and wallow for a bit. I know I don't have it as bad as A LOT of people in the world. I know I have SO MUCH to be thankful for. But I am just opening up and telling you how I feel right now.

I've been sick for a solid week. For four of those days, I didn't even work- it was Labor Day weekend. But for the past two days I have had to work and it is NOT helping anything clear up. Teaching seven 40 minute music classes and then sometimes piano lessons after school does NOT help my throat/head/sinuses feel better.

I have a headache. My throat hurts. I'm coughing. My sinuses are runny and congested. My nose is peeling from blowing it. My lower back gets SO TIGHT from walking/standing all day while I teach. (I even wore my sneakers to school this week but it's not helping.) I am EXHAUSTED because on Tuesday night, I didn't fall asleep until after 2:30, due to the fact that I can't breath through my nose and I CAN'T. TURN. MY. BRAIN. OFF.

I'm supposed to run a half marathon on Saturday. I paid $80 like eight months ago to sign up for it. I really have no desire to run it because I feel so crappy and tired that I can't imagine running for longer than an hour at this point.

I wish I could sleep.
I wish I felt healthy.
I wish my lower back didn't ache.
I wish I was happy.


And yet, it is always good to put things in perspective and remind myself that I am still very, very lucky. There are a lot of people that are struggling much more than I am.

For instance, there are still 500 migrant children separated from their parents.

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

Yesterday, at the end of a kindergarten music class, a little boy looked very teary eyed.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "I miss my mom," the little boy told me.

I hate when kids tell me this because there is nothing I can say to make them feel better. I put my hands on the little boy's shoulders and  said, "Music class is almost over. Then you'll go up to your kindergarten classroom to learn a little more, and before you know it, you'll be catching your bus to head home."

And the little boy was still so sad.

Can you imagine how those 500 migrant children feel? They are not going to see their parents tonight. Twenty-two of them are under the age of five, younger than my kindergarten students. They probably have absolutely no idea what is going on. All of these children are going to be traumatized for the rest of their lives.

I hate this.

I'm not trying to take away the pain of my kindergarten student. The student had every right to feel sad. I'm just pointing out that if that student felt that sad, imagine how terrible the children taken away from their parents at the border feel.

I wish this was talked about all. day. long. in the media until every child was back with their family.

11 comments:

  1. I just wanna say, I have the back-to-school-crud, too, and I'm angry and hurting for those separated families, and I've had to comfort my share of teary kindergarteners fo the last few weeks, so I get it. All of it. You'll feel better, and maybe even feel great by this weekend for your race. Kids will adjust to school.

    I wish I had as much confidence in the reunification of these poor families, but all I can hope is that we start to see some major changes and progress on that front after November 6.

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    1. I'm sorry you have the crud. :( Shouldn't we be immune to it by now? You're right, I will feel better soon and the kids will adjust. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger! Thanks for the pep talk my friend. <3

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  2. I know I've felt exhausted too and attribute it to going back to school. Perhaps some of your illness is coming from being in your school building. The air flow, humidity, and all that crud. Our building is very humid right now and not at all what I was use to in the co.fort of my own house this summer. Maybe thT has something to do with it.

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    1. I do think it has to do with being at school. I wish I were immune to it by now! You're right the air flow and humidity is just no good right now.

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  3. If I were you, when Friday evening comes around I would ask myself "based on how I feel is it worth $80 to sleep in tomorrow and rest up? Will that help me get better this weekend and then feel and do better at my job next week?" If the answer is yes I would skip the race. But if you're somehow feeling better and the answer is no then go run! Adam and I bought tickets to two events this year that we ended up skipping out on even though we couldn't get refunds because we felt it was "worth it" to skip!

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    1. You are absolutely right about how to decide whether to do the race or not.

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  4. I agree with Kristina on the race... it stinks to not run a race you paid for but I have missed so many this year and try to think about how some of the money went to a charity and how my health was more important. I hope you will feel better soon because I know you've been sick a while, and it has to be hard to do your job with all the kids and go about life when you're not feeling well.

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    1. Thanks Amy. Kristina and you are right. I think I just need to relax and play it by ear and see how I feel fri night... and possibly how I sleep fri night!

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  5. I am sorry you are not feeling good, Megan! I feel like you have had a lot of time fighting off colds this year and it's NOT FUN! Lack of sleep and staring back to school only adds to it, right? Just take care of yourself. Maybe your body just needs some rest. Like a week - 10 days of really scaled back activities! I know how much you love to run and workout but perhaps your body is asking for a bit of a respite. To get stronger and build back up! I am sending healing thoughts your way. Sorry, friend :(

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    1. Thank you so much, Susan. I will be honest, when I wake up, i don't always feel like waking up, but I also know sometimes a workout isn't going to make me feel WORSE. Does that make sense? But I could also be wrong. Today I lifted and I was in the zone when it happened... not sure 45 min of lifting will make me heal less quickly but it could be the case! I do just get mad. When I'm mad I'm like "well fuck you immune system, I'm gonna at least have 45 min of happiness!" Ugh. Sorry to go on and on. I should have just said you are right, because you most likely are. :) <3

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    2. It is hard not to say "fuck you body"...believe me, I totally get that! Hang in there, Megan.

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