A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

Saturday, December 6, 2014

How normal people who aren't effed up eat.

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This post may end up being a bit of a ramble... but that's how most of my posts about food end up being!


I am a creature of habit when it comes to food, but not as bad as I used to be. I definitely have my "standard" breakfast and lunch during the work week, but snacks and dinner have slowly become up for grabs. I am even becoming more liberal about when I eat my snacks. I don't flip out anymore if I am dying for a snack an hour earlier than "normal". I allow myself to have the freaking snack and just get over it!

I know this may sound foreign to many of you, but for people like me that have suffered with "food stuff" for most of their lives, it is so freeing to get to a place like this! Each little time I allow myself to listen to my body and listen to my hunger, it is a success.


Here is one of those instances:

After a hellish morning of work (there was a gas leak at our school and we were all shipped to the middle school and sat with our students in a cafeteria for an hour and a half before they were finally dismissed... a process that took over and hour), I got to come home for a longish lunch. I ate my standard chicken and broccoli, but then was suddenly just craving chocolate. Unfortunately, we didn't have any! Usually we have semi sweet chocolate morsels in the pantry but they were all gone. Still, I scanned the shelves to see if there was something, anything that would fix my craving. And then I saw it.

PEANUT BUTTER.

I ate it straight up with a spoon. It was so yummy. I didn't have a ton, but I had a good amount that was satisfying. I was a little worried that I'd be hungry for another snack later, and that the peanut butter would end up being "extra" food for the day. But the thing is, even though I ate the peanut butter around noon, it held me over until I had dinner at 6:00pm.

See? There was no reason to fret. I listened to my body, ate WHAT I wanted WHEN I wanted it, and everything evened out.

I know this is not a novel concept for most people. Most of you are reading this and thinking, "Um, duh Megan, that is how everyday, normal people who aren't fucked up eat."

Exactly. Am I one of you now?

22 comments:

  1. Breaking out of scheduled habits can be tough, but I'm glad to see. That it worked out fir you and you were stressing over nothing!

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    1. Yes, even though I still worry sometimes, I am glad I am getting the courage more often to just go with the flow. The end result is that nothing bad ever happens! I think the more I do this, the less I will stress.

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  2. Hooray for peanut butter!!!
    I know that it is a struggle but every step counts and helps. I always appreciate your honesty about food struggles!

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    1. Thanks Kim! Truly every step does count. Making new habits is key.

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  3. Its funny I think peanut butter is a great way to satiate a sweet craving, unfortunately I have no self-control when it comes to peanut butter. I'd have more than one spoonful and like you I just eat it with a spoon. :)

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    1. I think it satisfies because it is loaded with fat (good fat) and fat holds us over!

      Peanut butter tastes best on a spoon. :) Or in vanilla ice cream....

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  4. You know my disordered eating past so you know I get this. One little thing means a lot sometimes. Yay peanut butter!

    I often wonder what it's like to not have strong emotions toward food. Namely anger and resentment. I want one day of that.

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    1. I hear where you are coming from, Kim. I hope you get to have LOTS of days of that, not just one. Hang in there.

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  5. Ugh, I definitely know where you're coming from. And it pisses me off that so many of us struggle with eating like normal humans. You know? This should not be hard, but it is.

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  6. Eating pb with a spoon out of the jar is heaven. So glad you're at that place in life where you don't feel guilty about something so good :)

    I am learning more and more about how people who aren't effed up eat. I recently started working with a registered dietitian to get my shit together.

    Back when I was in therapy seeing a psychologist every week it was recommended that I also work with an RD but I couldn't afford it. My insurance didn't even pay for most of my psychology visits because they apparently think bulimia can be cured in about 6 one-hour visits, so that's cool. For the most part after I started seeing my psychologist I just kind of tried to not ever think about the food I was eating so I couldn't obsess over it. I wouldn't plan out my meals and I wouldn't think about them after they were consumed. That's clearly not helped me be my healthiest! Finally working with a dietitian is really interesting and kind of fun. I wish I had been able to do it when I was first going through recovery!

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    1. I wish you had too. It sucks that insurance companies don't recognize that eating disorders are a serious mental health issue. I am glad you find that working with a dietitian is interesting, fun, and hopefully helpful! But I am sorry that you have clearly suffered. I hope that working with the dietitian is a huge step in the right direction for you! If you ever want to commiserate or vent, you know how to get a hold of me. ;)

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    2. Thank you, you're the best!

      And vice versa too, I've always got an ear to lend!

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  7. I totally get this post. I still have really rigid ways of eating. I write in a personal journal almost every night as a way of working through my food issues. I never talk about it publicly because I don't like to trigger people, but I went through a really dangerous period. I am still fucked up when it comes to food. I still could not allow myself to eat PB straight off the spoon! I am making great strides and hopefully one of these days I will be able to do just that. I USED to eat PB off the spoon...dipped in chocolate sauce!

    You're awesome Meg! Keep it up!

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    1. Thank you for sharing your own struggles with me, Rachel! The struggle is real, so I am glad you are making some strides! Hope you get to experience some personal victories soon, whether it is eating PB straight off the spoon or something equally as victorious!

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  8. I definitely understand your reason for celebrating this success! I've been here and am still working on it at times myself, so I can understand how that one spoon of peanut butter can feel SO good, especially when you don't have any guilt at all after eating it for the rest of the day.

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    1. Thanks Kaylin! It's so silly that something so simple means so much, but it does. :)

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  9. I relate to this so much. I never had a full out eating disorder, but I had many of the habits. It's so freeing to finally relax with food instead of worrying about it so much. I hope it keeps getting easier for you!

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    1. Thanks Dana! I hope you continue eating worry free as well!

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  10. I am so glad you are in a good place! I have struggled in the past with this and it's one of the most miserable traps ever. I am so glad you eat stuff with fat! Over the years I have a few appt. with trainers trying to decide if I really needed one to work with. I remember one telling me right off the bat to give up peanut butter and bread and I never went back. It's good you will encourage someone to eat in moderation and not deprive your self to misery.

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    1. Oh I am a big fan of fat! And hey, it kept me full for 6 hours!

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