A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

Saturday, February 1, 2014

I just needed to feel like myself again... (My last run before my knee scope!)

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First of all, thanks for the wonderful words of encouragement yesterday! I know I try to be very positive on my blog, but there have been some real "down-in-the-dumps" times these past few days. Yesterday was a good day in my recovery. I was able to take off my bandage (picture at the end of the post!) and ice, ice, baby! It has really helped the swelling and pain. This morning I was able to walk daintily around my house without crutches, so long as I was careful not to bend my knee too much or straighten it too much. This is without Vicodin, so that is good. My goal is NO VICODIN today. It makes me tired, loopy, anxious, and constipated. (Had to throw the last one in there because it's true!!!) So there's a little update for you. Now, onto my post...

The good part about being told you are having plica removal surgery in 3 days is that you don't really have time to stress out about it. Even though I was hoping to have surgery to fix my knee, it was a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am out patient procedure, and the recovery time is very short (so I have been told), the less time I was given to have pre-surgery anxiety and second thoughts, the better.

Still those thoughts were there...

"What if I die from the anesthesia!?"
"What if I am worse off after the surgery than before!?"
"What if the surgeon screws something up and I can never run again!?"

And of course on the day of the surgery my knee felt fine. It felt strong. It felt normal. So then all morning I was thinking, "What if it miraculously healed for good overnight and I don't need surgery!?"

The day before the surgery I decided to go for a run. My PT had told me not to run so I would get better faster- advice which I followed until the day before surgery. On Wednesday, I wanted to go for "one last run". While I'll most likely be doing light activity in less than a week and hit the asphalt running in 2-3 weeks, I still know that recovery time is not the same for everyone. And  even though it wasn't probable, I also knew anything could go wrong with surgery. I had to get one last run in... just in case, you know? So melodramatic of me...

Unfortunately it had to be a treadmill run. I don't know if you heard about this polar vortex thing, but I live in Central Pennsylvania and at 5am it's like -12 degrees out! I sure would have liked me last run to be outside, beautiful, and freeing, but it was not. It was in sweaty, smelly PF.

I gotta be honest about something. There's a girl at Planet Fitness in the mornings that is young, fit, and has the perfect running body. (I know there is no such thing, this is just me being envious over here!) She is usually on a treadmill and runs pretty fast. Whenever I see her, she makes me want to run. But I couldn't run for awhile, remember? Well not this day. I was gonna run 5 miles and I was gonna do it fast because I just wanted to feel like myself again.

I nonchalantly walked behind her machine so I could see her pace.


P-SHAW!!! I could do that easily! At least, I used to be able to. I wondered if I still had it in me? I figured I'd work my way up. I hadn't run in about 3 weeks, so I wasn't just going to hop on the treadmill and run at a 6:58 pace. So instead I worked my way up.

Mile 1- 8:30
Mile 2 - 8:00
Mile 3 - 8:00
Mile 4 - 6:58
Mile 5 - 7:04

I always run at a 2.0 incline so it better represents the outdoors.

I was pretty pleased with myself! I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but I just needed to prove to myself I still "had it". My speed, my strength, my confidence... it was all there. It doesn't go away when I stop running because I still train my body in other ways and it translates over to running.

But not sub sevens for me for awhile... I unwrapped my knee Friday morning. Check it out:

Ouchy wa wa!!!!
Don't worry, I have ice. I'm on it.

I wish I didn't have to run to feel like myself, but it is true. It's such an important part of my life. If I can't do it, I don't feel complete. I know running doesn't define me. But it certainly makes me feel more like "me".

What makes YOU feel like YOU?


  1. In my expert, obviously not a doctor opinion, your knee doesn't look bad at all! It really seems to have minimal swelling and totally looks like a knee :) Running at the beach makes me feel like me. Any time I run anywhere else I feel like I'm cheating on my favorite loop.

    1. Ooh thanks!! Did you ever see the movie Misery??? I feel like Paul Sheldon in that movie, hobbling around, unable to walk hahaha. Although obviously it feels a lot better today. I love running on the beach. What a great workout. I plan to run on the beach in Hawaii. I don't want to step FOOT in a gym that week... I want to do everything outside on the beach!

  2. Wow, way to kick those last two miles into gear! You're speedy :D I think I would have had those same dramatic questions pre-surgery too. I always tend to think things like that. Your knee doesn't look as bad as I was expecting. I'm very wimpy when it comes to surgeries, cuts, etc. So I was basically holding my breath as I scrolled down, lol. Speedy recovery vibes are being sent your way!

    1. You're pretty speedy too! (I know, I read your blog!!) ;) Glad my knee didn't gross you out too much. The cuts don't look bad at all, it's just puffy and it FEELS puffy.

  3. I am glad your knee is doing okay and you are able to get back into running. Running or any type of workout always makes me feel like myself too!

  4. I absolutely understand needing to run to feel like yourself. It's great that you can run again in 2-3 weeks.. though I'm sure that feels like an eternity to you.

    1. So he says.... I hope he's not just blowing smoke up my ass!

  5. Nice job on that last, momentous run before the scope!! Your knee looks like a piece of art. Hope it heals soon!!!

  6. "A piece of art"- the best compliment I got in awhile!!!

  7. This must have been so hard for you! I know if I had to back off of running like that for a while I'd be out of my mind. I can totally relate though to ALWAYS racing the person next to you. However, I haven't run on a treadmill in months - I just can't really stand it. I get bored and usually perform poorly for some reason. Hope you get back to your quick pace in no time!

    1. I am not a fan of treadmills either! Thanks for the kind words. :)