I had a freeing moment the other night and I wanted to share it with you.
I was driving home from Philly late on Sunday. I had just spent the evening with my friend Maggie and we got to see Terry Gross speak. It was a fun night, but long, and I was starving by the time I hopped in the car to head home. Starving and super duper tired. I needed food and caffeine to wake me up for the almost two hour drive I had ahead of me.
At the first rest stop I saw, I pulled in. It was relatively empty and there were only two places open- Starbucks and Burger King. I am pretty sure I could have gotten a fresh sandwich at Starbucks that would fit into most people's definition of a "healthy" dinner. But I didn't want it. I smelled the spicy chicken and fries coming from Burger King and that's what I wanted!
So I got it!
I had no guilt, no regrets. No worries that I would get "fat". No inclinations that the rest of the night would just turn into a binge fest because I already was "bad" and the day was "ruined" so I may as well just stuff my face. NONE OF THAT.
It was SO FREEING!!!!
I was eating a JUNKY MEAL just for the pure pleasure of eating it. AND I DIDN'T CARE!!!!
The sandwich was delicious and spicy. There was mayo on it, which I don't normally eat, but it was really good on this sandwich. I ate most of the fries, but not all of them because I got full. I didn't feel the need to shove all the fries in my mouth.
"You can never have fries again! You fucked up tonight, so tomorrow and for the rest of your life you will eat healthy!" my inner voice used to say.
"I will eat fries again if I want them, I don't need to go crazy tonight," my inner voice now says.
I even had a HUGE Coke Zero! I know, I have essentially eliminated fake sugary drinks from my diet. I haven't had one since I posted about it back on August 1st. That's a long time, and I'm proud of it. But I'm also proud that I could have a diet soda, enjoy it, and not feel "addicted" again.
To end this tirade, or whatever you want to call it, I'd like to quote one of my blog readers, Susan. She has a degree in nutrition and left a great comment on one of my posts. She said, "In fact, to look at any exercise and eating program on a daily basis is way to myopic. You must step back and see the bigger picture."
Life will go on.
Can you relate to anything I covered in this post?