A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

Thursday, December 7, 2017

I auditioned.


This is a painful post to write. I auditioned for Hairspray at Theater Harrisburg on Saturday. I really wanted to get cast as a dancer or just a chorus member. But I didn't even get a call back. I sang a one minute song for the casting committee and that was enough for them to know they didn't even want me for the second round of auditions.

What a kick in the gut. I know I don't have a huge, strong, voice, and I didn't get my hopes up about being cast. I just didn't realize how much of a kick in the gut not getting called back would be.


Auditions were from 1-4. I arrived at 1:05 and there were already a ton of people there. I filled out the two information sheets and handed them in. I was number 38 to audition. There were about 70 people total. I had to wait awhile for my turn, so I just sat and tried to chill on my phone. An older gentleman sat next to me and struck up a conversation. Then when he left another dude sat down and we were chatting. Most of the people there to audition were young girls around 15-20. I felt old.


Tried to not dress too old looking...

When it was my turn to go into the audition room, I was very cold and NERVOUS. I was shaking! I wish I didn't get so nervous for stuff like this. There were three people in the audition room. The accompanist was a guy I knew already from doing shows. I didn't expect to see him there so it was nice to see a friendly face. The two people on the casting committee were a woman who works for Theater Harrisburg and the director, a guy I was actually in a show choir with in high school but I hadn't seen him in 19 years. Crazy, right?
I sang Oh Bless the Lord My Soul. My voice cracked on the one belty part but it wasn't bad and I got back into it. The director and the other woman on the casting panel listened intently. The woman smiled and sort of bopped along. I sang for about one minute and gave it my all. Then it was over and I went back to the big waiting area to learn the dance. 

I had to wait about an hour and a half for the next demonstration of the dance. I started to get really tired and got a pounding headache during this time. I could hear some of the singers through the audition doors and so many people had big, strong, voices. I was starting to think mine wasn't going to measure up.


Auditions were just on the other side of those doors...

Finally it was time to learn the dance. We were going to be taught the dance that day and then if we got called back, we'd have to perform the dance for the audition committee. The dance was REALLY hard, but luckily, it seemed like it was really hard for everyone. We were allowed to record it so that if we got called back, we could practice it at home and be prepared for the next round of auditions. I figured if I practiced for 2-3 hours I would be able to learn the dance- and I fully intended to learn it if I got called back!

After I learned the dance, I was free to go. I kept checking my email for the rest of the night, hoping to get the "Please come back tomorrow!" email from the theater but it never came. Around 9 I was pretty sure it wasn't coming. At 10, I was VERY sure and at 11 I started to get really sad. I admit, I did cry twice because I was sad. It sucks not being good enough for something.

I spend all my work days doing music, but it's dedicated to teaching young students. I was excited to potentially do something musical for ME for the first time in 6 years.

I actually did see a former student at the audition. I taught her from kindergarten-fourth grade. She was in my 4th grade chorus and my show choir. Now she performs in the high school shows. I don't know anything for certain, but she is so talented and I am sure she got in Hairspray.

20 comments:

  1. Well they missed out on someone fantastic who would made the show have a little extra sparkle!
    You are so talented, I can't believe they didn't call you back. I am sorry Megan, I wish you could have that chance to do something just for you!

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    1. Thanks Karen! It is definitely a bummer but I have to remind myself that's the way it goes sometimes.

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  2. O wow this is a bummer for sure. Rejection stinks no matter what the situation. I've heard you sing and you have a beautiful voice Megan. They are crazy not to have you in their cast but look at it this way, it's NOT that you weren't Good Enough, it may have been that they were looking for a different style. Call it "artistic differences",, haha! You may just perfect for the next show! Luv ya!

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    1. Thanks girl. :) I know it could have been more than I wasn't good enough but of course that is my first thought. I'm sure I will get to be in a musical again someday!

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  3. Well, they are obviously missing out on your talent, and on the money we were going to spend on going to see you! so their loss!!

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    1. Ha! There were so many good people there, I am sure they will be fine.

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  4. You have selflessly dedicated the last decade + of your life to teaching music to students instead of focusing on your own musical aspirations. I bet many of the people who auditioned have spent a lot more time practicing their craft as of recent whereas you have spent a lot of time inside the classroom. I don't think you have anything to feel badly about. Plus this was your first audition in a long time right? If you auditioned for 5 things I bet you would get at least 3/5 of them!

    And like Lacey said they could have just been looking for a different style too. Or they thought you would outshine all the others and they didn't want the others to feel bad.

    Jelly and Chrissy don't want anyone else to sing them songs so there's that too. I mean you are by far their favorite and they don't even want to listen to anyone else!

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    1. Yes, I shouldn't expect to get the first thing I audition for. And I certainly didn't expect to but I did think I would get called back to at least dance for them. Oh well, I will just keep trying some other shows.

      Maybe I should've auditioned with one of my kitty cat songs!!!??? :)

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    2. Yes, hands down, the kitty songs would have worked!

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    3. Oh, I want to add it's definitely not selflessly... my job pay the bills!!! Hahaha. But thankfully it is a FUN job that I find meaning with... and it pays the bills. Not all jobs do that.

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  5. Oh man, that stinks :( You are braver than I am, getting up there and putting your heart out for the audition. I hope that doesn't stop you from trying out again. You've got talent!!

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    1. I will definitely try again. This girl will not give up until she is in a show!

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  6. Megan, I am so proud of you! Way to get out there and try out. I am sorry it didn't work out this time but I think you should keep trying! Really...some of it just may have been out of practice auditioning and nothing to do with your amazing talent (I think you have a beautiful voice). What a great goal to do something for you! Awesome job, girl.

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    1. I am definitely going to keep trying. Thanks for the encouragement!

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  7. You're so brave for even putting yourself out there. I think auditions are one of the cruelest forms of judgment on a person. It can really beat you down, but remember, you tried your best.

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    1. I did, so at least I can't regret it. I did prepare.

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  8. Keep trying! Really glad you were brave enough to kick anxiety in the butt and auditioned. And that's what matters.

    -Marty

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    1. Thanks Marty! I always get so nervous to audition yet I sing in front of hundreds of students a day. Crazy.

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  9. Aww I'm sorry to hear this! I know the rejection stings, but it honestly is probably less about you not being "good enough", and more that there were SO many REALLY good people and they can only call back so many of them.

    Just keep trying and auditioning. As you get comfortable with it again and spend more time developing your own musical performance, things will start to go your way!

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