A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

Friday, October 17, 2014

Trainer Tip: Behavior Change- Get rid of the "all or nothing" attitude.

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It's time for another Trainer Tip! This one focuses on behavior change, and I chose a behavior, or "attitude", if you will, that I certainly have struggled with in various parts of my life. It's the "all or nothing" attitude- and it's very, very, dangerous because it basically sets you up for failure.

Example: "I will not miss a SINGLE workout."
Example: "I am NEVER eating chocolate again!"
Example: "I will NOT eat carbs after 7pm!"

Okay, first of all, REALLY!? You really are never going to miss a workout? You will never, ever eat chocolate again? For the rest of your life, you will not eat carbs after 7pm?

LIAR!

But guess what... That's okay...

The examples above come from the "all or nothing attitude". As if eating chocolate represents failure of some sort. Or that missing a workout negates all the other workouts you did. Your brain tells you, "I messed up. Now I have to start over." Then you feel all sorts of negative thoughts, eventually, you "mess up" again, feel lousy, have to start over, and the cycle continues.


Making such blanket, sweeping statements just sets you up for failure.


Instead, set yourself up for SUCCESS!


When you pick a behavior to change, remember, success is not measured by NEVER slipping up or ALLOWING yourself to indulge/relax/whatever. Success is measured by looking at all of your choices and actions, and when the big picture is presented, you have made more healthy choices than unhealthy choices.

Example: You realize you have been eating ice cream every night before you go to bed. It makes you feel lousy during your workouts the next morning. You decide to stop eating ice cream at night, hoping that you feel better. For 9 days, you stop eating ice cream. You don't buy it when you go grocery shopping, so it is not in your fridge to tempt you. One night after your kid's football game, the family decides to go out for ice cream. You are craving it, so you indulge in a cone of your favorite flavor.

Failure? I say NO. First of all, you picked one behavior to change (no more ice cream at night), you set yourself up for success (not keeping ice cream in the house to reduce temptation), and you stuck with your goal for a little over a week. Yes, you had ice cream one night out with your family, but if you look at the big picture, you didn't eat ice cream nine out of ten days. THAT'S AWESOME! That is success, and there is no logical reason to look at it in any other way.

Why hold yourself up to an unattainable standard? NO ONE eats "healthy" all the time. NO ONE. And if they say they do, they are lying. But are there people that MOSTLY make healthy choices? Absolutely.

So look at the big picture! And please don't make yourself live in a world where you can't have ice cream after your kid's football game!

Have you ever fallen into the trap of having an "all or nothing" attitude?
Any tips to shake this dangerous way of thinking?

20 comments:

  1. thanks for this post,megan! very inspirational for me today.......

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  2. Yes, I get into the all or nothing trap! Working on seeing the big picture is a daily task for me. I am getting so much better. It really helps to have a close friend who can help bring you back to reality when you start going off into the weeds and spinning! I am so thankful to have someone that helps keep me very grounded.

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    1. I'm so glad you have someone who supports you and keeps you on track/grounded. I wish we all had someone like that. :) Maybe that is why we read blogs hehe.

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    2. I actually think the blogs are the WORST (except yours and a few others). I am slowly unsubscribing to the list of them I used to read. Honestly, I need to have a more realistic approach to fitness. As you know, some of the blogs sort of encourage that all or none thinking!!! But not you, Meg. You rock :)

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    3. Good point! There are some great blogs out there that aren't psycho addicted to exercise though. Check out some of the people's blogs who comment below!

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  3. The all or nothing trap is terrible because once you feel like you've "failed" you are almost giving yourself permission to go back to doing the thing you wanted to stop on a daily basis. Or at least that has happened to me in the past. Like, "Oh I didn't work out yesterday, I already ruined this week so I guess I'll just take today, tomorrow and the next day off and start up again next week."

    One thing I have stayed committed to is "I will not eat Brussels sprouts between the hours of 12:00am and 11:59pm." I have been able to do this for 28 years!

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    1. LOL! Aw man I love brussel sprouts but they don't love ME. I have done that with food- ate "bad" on Monday, so I decided I'd just be bad the whole week.

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  4. YES! this is so true. All or nothing attitudes just you up for failure (I know from experience) I've been trying really hard to look at everything as a balance. If I have a great nutrition/fitness week- awesome. If I have a not-so-great one, eh, thats OK. Nobody's perfect.

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    1. And there is no need at all to even TRY to be perfect because it can't be done!

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  5. 4 workouts a week is more than most people do! See you you, that is a "lower" week and for some people the goal is to just get moving 3 days! Putting it in perspective and looking at the big picture is a good thing.

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  6. This is so important. It's why people give up on the gym and other New Years resolutions. "I'm going to work out 7 days a week and lose X pounds and go to classes and be more social..." You have to change one habit at a time, give it the 30-60 days to settle in, and then go to the next one! And a step back once in awhile isn't failure, it's life!

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    1. Yup one habit at a time. Once I gave up diet soda AND added salt from my salt shaker. It didn't work. So now I use salt as much as I want hahah... but no diet soda!

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  7. I'm better about avoiding this trap now but there was a time when I was awful about it. I thought that a workout only counted if it was at least 1 hour (often more) and max intensity!!! Now I'm a little more relaxed!
    Good luck!!!

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  8. Meg you always offer the best advice. :) I feel like you are super knowledgeable about health and fitness and I truly take your words as legit. Great post!

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  9. Great post!! I definitely have an all or nothing attitude when it comes to food sometimes. Whenever I want to eat healthy again, I'm always like I have to eat ALL the bad food in the house. Um no, I don't. I can keep it there and use it to help with my cravings. Right now, we have cake in the house and I feel like I should eat it all in one sitting. But I'm smart and know that is not okay.

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    1. Oh I love having cake in the house and I HATE it! lol. I understand the dilemma.

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  10. It's hard to remember this stuff a lot of the time. But reading it, I hear myself saying it to my students all of the time. I use a star reward system and when they get upset about losing one star, I tell them that it's okay. ONE star out of the gazillions they have already earned is not a big deal. I need to tell myself that more often. One missed workout is not a big deal. It's when it becomes a habit that I should feel concerned. But working out/eating right is so engrained in me now, that I know I won't ever fall back into my old bad habits. Thank you Megan!

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    1. The next time you feel guilty about missing a workout, look at your training log and Garmin data and know that it is not the end of everything! :)

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