A few days ago I went out for sushi with a friend. A little after we were seated, a family with two kids (ages 8-12 ish?) came in and sat down right across from us. No sooner did the family sit down than the kids whipped out their electronic devices and shoved their faces in them.
More members of their party began arriving, and it appeared to be a big family gathering. Two more kids came and after they sat down, immediately the electronics came out.
My friend and I dined for quite awhile- over two hours- and so did the family. The kids were on their devices the entire time.
I don't get what the parents were thinking? I know I don't have kids, and I shouldn't judge somebody's parenting decisions... but I am going to do it anyway! Why in the world do kids need to have their faces in electronic devices when they are out to eat!? They should JOIN THE LAND OF THE LIVING. They should converse. Bored? Make up a game. People watch. Talk to your cousin.
The most interesting part about someone's day should not be what is on their tablet. But those parents were teaching their kids it's okay to shut out the real world.
Things are just going to get worse. Because adults do it too. It's one of the reasons I don't have a smartphone. I don't want to even be tempted to resort to messing around on my phone when I should really be experiencing life.
Says the girls who blogs every day... :)
What's the most ridiculous place you have seen someone with their head buried in a device?
Parents, what are your rules regarding electronic devices in public?
I can't judge anyone's parenting decisions either, and I do think it's preferable for a kid to have an iPad or whatever than to be screaming or jumping around for attention because the parents are ignoring them. What I absolutely cannot stand is when a kid has earphones or earbuds on at a restaurant. I literally cannot think of anymore more rude.
ReplyDeleteOne time I saw a teenager with his earphones on over his ears at a dinner table when he was only with one other person (that I assume was his dad). That kid has 0 manners! Even if you don't like the person you're dining with under no circumstances should you have your earphones on.
I am sure parenting is really hard and that under some circumstances you just don't want to fight with your kid so you let things go but .... seeing that type of thing makes me angry with the kid and really sad for the parent.
I am certain parenting is hard. I guess technology makes it easier, sometimes. And I totally get that. Everyone needs a break. But there is a time and a place.
DeleteThis discussion has been brought up a lot in our culture, and I find my reaction to it starting to shift.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that I agree with kids being glued to smartphones/tablets while in public. I do agree with you that one should tear themselves away at dinner or in the company of others and that letting your kids do that is probably not a parenting win. However, I've come to believe that maybe the best thing is to just mind my own business and not worry so much about what other people are doing. I can't fix our cultural smartphone addiction. Like it or not, it's not going away, and it's only going to get worse. The best I can do is take care of myself and make sure I'm living a healthy, balanced life and not being rude, and try to avoid people who would behave like this while out to dinner with me. Does it make me sad to see people glued to smartphones while out to dinner? Yes. But I am not entitled to tell them how to live their lives. A better strategy for me is that instead of getting angry with them, I use them as a reminder to feel grateful that I have not fallen into that trap. Maybe this sounds defeatist, but honestly, ranting and raving about this problem doesn't seem to be helping it either. I think the best thing I can do is simply set a good example.
When I was a kid, I would read Goosebumps and Babysitters Club books at the restaurant table while we waited for our food. Back then, adults probably viewed me the same way we view kids on smartphones today; but today, they would probably praise me for reading an actual paper book instead of being on a device. Funny how times change!
Oh my gosh, I loved the BSC! You are right, I would have never been allowed to read at the dinner table or while out to eat, but now it would be much more acceptable!
DeleteI don't think it is defeatist to have your view. You make a good point! Who cares, right!? Having kids, you wouldn't think I wouldn't care, but I think it's because of being a teacher.
Honestly, I think being a teacher gets you a free pass on the whole "you don't have kids so you can't understand" argument. I'm neither a parent nor a teacher, but I would think that watching and educating kids 40 hours a week makes you just as qualified to comment as someone who raises kids.
DeleteGood discussion today!
Thank you for contributing to it! :) I appreciate your thoughts and opinions.
DeleteHi! New reader - and this is a great topic for my first comment. :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were at Perkins for breakfast a few weeks ago and a family we were sitting next to was letting their daughter (I'd say 3-4 years old) watch a show on a tablet AND THE SOUND WAS ON! So, we had to listen to an annoying kid's show while trying to enjoy our breakfast. It was so rude. Ugh, I wanted to say something but then I didn't want to be 'that' person.
But, I guess I'd rather see kids using a phone or tablet (quietly) instead of them being loud and disruptive, but isn't part of parenting teaching your kids how to behave in a public setting? Even if they are bored out of their mind? My parents only took us out if they knew we could behave and if we did start to act up all it took was a quick word or look to get us back on track. I don't think my sister or I ever made a scene in public because my parents set expectations ahead of time.
Anyways, getting off topic there. :) I think everyone, children and adults, should put their phones away in the presence of company. It's just rude and I hate it.
Hi! Thanks for reading! Sometimes I write about running, too. ;)
DeleteThat bfast story sounds annoying. The management should have said something to them- like how they have a policy that electronic devices must be silent or you must have headphones.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Yes, technology is both a blessing and a curse! As a parent, I hope I am teaching my kids (and modeling) how to use technology responsibly, yet still ENGAGE in the people and world around you. We have rules regarding technology, and *surprise* most of them start with manners (no phones while eating!). We have a fair amount of rules regarding the use devices in our family, and I can only say, as with most parenting, what is easy is not always the answer. Have I taken the *easy* way out on occasion, yep. There is a lot of gray out there in which to navigate!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you definitely have a handle on your situation and know for the most part how you want your kids to navigate the gray! Thanks for sharing. :) It's good to hear from parents!
DeleteI was in a movie theater and this younger teenage girl sitting next to her dad in the seats just below me was texting throughout the ENTIRE movie. While her phone was on silent, I had this unavoidable bright light shining in my face. Honestly, if you can't go for two hours without texting and enjoy a movie, then what can you do. I will never let my kids use electronic devices around social situations - they will learn to be present and engage with the world around them.
ReplyDeleteThat would really bother me- seeing that light. I was at the movies over MLK weekend and I was playing scrabble on my phone until it started because Paul had gone to the bathroom and we had already waited like 45 minutes for the movie to start- technical problems. Anyway, so the lights were up and people were chatting and then suddenly some advertisements started playing- like the ones right before the previews were about to start. I finished my scrabble word (it took me like 3 seconds) and some old guy behind me yelled, "HEY LADY! TURN OFF YOUR PHONE!" I am serious, the music had only just begun. Well, since I don't like people telling me what to do, I DIDN'T close my phone right away hahahaha. Then I remembered about how a guy once got shot in the movie theater for having his phone on and thought maybe I had dodged a bullet. Seriously, people are crazy. Oh and I was mad he called me "lady" lol.
DeleteI don't have kids either but if they were being quiet, that's great. I'd rather have them on their ipad then misbehaving while I am trying to eat. I too do not ever have my face buried in my phone when I am out socializing. -L
ReplyDeleteYes, but why does it have to be either or? Either have to be quiet on the ipad, OR being loud and misbehaving? Can't it be NOT on the ipad and behaving in an appropriate way for children to behave in a restaurant?
DeleteI will just say this: when I was growing up we did not have anything at the restaurant to entertain us and we were 100% expected to behave. I don't remember this being difficult or challenging. Just the way it was in my family. Times have changed and I will just say that if I did have kids, I am pretty sure I would be in the minority with how I chose to parent. It would be very old school, I guess. When Rick and I go out we never take out our phones unless I ask a question about something trivial and we have to go "dig up the answer" on the internet (kind of a habit of mine).
ReplyDeleteSame. I don't remember going out to eat as being hard as a kid. I remember it as being fun. :) I feel like you miss out on the simple pleasures when your face is buried in technology.
DeleteWe don't use them in public (well, now I have my business phone everywhere but....) and we limit the use at home. No phones or other electronics at the dinner table and when we are having conversations. I think the fact that my boys were older when electronic devices became so popular helped - they already knew how to be part of a group and make conversation!!!
ReplyDeleteYes I am sure that helped! Same with me- I mean, I grew up without all that junk so now I feel it is easier to disconnect. I am on the computer too much at home. I can't imagine if it was just in my POCKET. lol. I don't trust myself.
DeleteI think this is one of those things where parents who know how to discipline their kids wouldn't need to let them use devices at dinner. Dinner out should be a treat, and kids should be involved in it. I think it's made worse by the fact that over-use of devices isn't good for kids' development. So I agree; it makes me sad and it worries me. Especially as a teacher.
ReplyDeleteLike a few other commenters, I guess it is better if that keeps them quiet than disturbing other people's meals, but I do wonder... why even take them out. Why go anywhere, or do anything, if you are just going to be in your electronics all. the. time. I definitely notice this and it makes me sad. I see it a lot on the commuter train - nearly everyone has a glowing device in their hands (often, me, too). Which is fine, there. But it makes me worry that we are losing other hobbies - reading actual books, talking to people, making things with our hands, day dreaming... I am reading a great book on this topic, now - The End of Absence.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a book I would like to read!
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