The other night, as my head hit the pillow, I suddenly had a Runner Identity Crisis. I know, it was an odd time, but that is when mine happened.
The crisis...
I NEVER DO LONG RUNS ANYMORE.
I did one 18 miler back in the beginning of June. Since then, I have done a handful (at the most) 10-12 milers. I think the last time I ran in the double digits was about two months ago.
The point is, now that I read a lot of running blogs, I am smacked in the face every day with people running 15... 18... 20 MILES! It's hard not to compare myself to these runners.
The truth is, if I tried to run 12+ miles right now, I would be going VERY slow, and the last third of the run would suck. I would also be putting myself at the risk for injury. I am not in shape to do a run longer than 10 miles.
I know I shouldn't compare myself to other runners. I have told clients the same thing, but sometimes it is hard to walk the walk. I just picture people coming to my blog, seeing my weekly workouts and thinking... "She only ran 25 miles this week!? And she calls herself a runner!?"
I also know I don't have any reason to be running more than 10 miles at a time right now. I am not training for a marathon, so what is the point?
I also know I don't have any reason to be running more than 10 miles at a time right now. I am not training for a marathon, so what is the point?
I want to run forever. And I think (for me) the key to that is to take time off from running long. I used to run lots of marathons. I used to run ultras. I used to go out and do 20 miles with friends "for fun." But this is my time off, and I have to accept that and not compare myself to the mileage on other people's Garmins.
Oh the stuff I worry about...
Have you ever had a runner identity crisis?
Do you ever feel pressure to run more miles or run faster simply because you're comparing yourself to others?
I think we all must have this problem! It's so hard not to compare mileage or paces with other runners in the blog world! Even if it's not a direct comparison like "she runs 3 minutes per mile faster" it can be "she's improving her pace so much faster than me, why aren't I seeing the same progress?" Checking in with ourselves and saying, "who cares?" is really the key!
ReplyDeletePS: Adam is halfway through Serial now (I don't know how he listens so slowly) and since the very first episode he has been 120% sure Adnan did it! I don't know how he's so sure of this!
Who cares, indeed! Most of the time I don't care. In my weaker moments, I feel less than.
DeleteWow about Adam! You need to have him read Split The Moon and LL2 (which are way more informative than the podcast) and then see what he thinks. I was only about 80% sure he was innocent after the podcast but after reading the blogs, 1000% sure!
I think we've all been there! When I have an identity crisis and get compare happy, I remind myself that people could be thinking the same thing about me. In your case, you feel inadequate because you're not running as many miles as others, while they could be looking at your blog feeling like "man, she's super speedy and I'm a tortoise compared to that pace!" It's all about perspective!
ReplyDeleteI did those long runs because I had to for marathon training. You will not see me running 20 miles for fun. EVER. I went through a period this fall when I didn't really do long runs (the longest was 8ish for almost two months), and I just didn't feel like myself. I thought it would make me feel rested but the opposite happened: I felt sluggish and out of shape!
Yes, I certainly understand people could be comparing themselves to me just as I compare myself to them. I guess I can be glad that MOST of the time I recognize that we're all different, and it's just in my weaker moments when I tend to feel I am less than.
DeleteWhat???? A fellow runner having an identity crisis, say it ain't so lol.we all go through this in some form, it's normal. If your not training for a marathon no reason at all to do long runs. Staying injury free is the key in the off-season. I get this crisis with the need to run faster, happens after every race. We are all in the same boat :)
ReplyDeleteNice to know I am not alone/crazy!
DeleteYou know that I babble endlessly about this. If I'm not training for a race, I don't do long runs. I'm struggling with that right now. I hate when 7-9 miles is my "long" run.
ReplyDeleteSadly, with Jere gone, that's probably the most I'll be doing. I don't like being out on 15+ milers without backup in case the vertigo hits.
I JUST did a race, though, so it's not as bad. The 5 years I went without a long run made me feel like I was no longer a runner. Like I had quit.
I hope my off season isn't 5 years! I understand how you felt like you had quit. Which is silly because we can be runners without running double digits!
DeleteYeah. I mean, I ran a bit, but without direction. I didn't race. I mostly kick myself because I was really getting fast without realizing it and I'm afraid that I'm now old and have missed my peak. :D
DeleteI missed marathoning. I'm glad that I'm back at it, but I honestly cannot wait to move to somewhere less . . . high. I need oxygen!
I don't understand how you trained for a marathon at the altitude you live at. CO kicked my but when it came to running. My first run was in Boulder and I started walking after 38 seconds. No joke. :)
DeleteAlso, I don't think you missed your peak. Coach Mike always told me people PR in their 30s.
Yes! I feel this way too. I remind myself that everyone NEEDS an off season. Only runners worry about not running enough, or wonder if they are truly a runner because they only ran "X" miles!!
ReplyDeleteWe runners are psycho, that is for sure!
DeleteWell it looks like you are going to be running your marathon! :)
ReplyDeleteI certainly appreciate those who run halves in 3+ hours. I don't look at it as 13.1 miles... I look at it as holy crap, they ran for THREE FREAKING HOURS, you know what I mean???
I always feel this way! It actually makes me feel better to know someone I consider a veteran runner feels like this, too. But you're so right that if you're not training, long runs don't need to be super long...it's not great for your body to ALWAYS be running at top distances, right?
ReplyDelete"it's not great for your body to ALWAYS be running at top distances, right?" <---- EXACTLY! But in my weaker moments, I feel like I have to.
DeleteI wish I could be one of those runners who is always in marathon shape and runs one every few weeks but I know my body would shut down. I think 25 mile weeks are great! I'm not even there yet. I'm lucky if I have a 10 mile week right now :)
ReplyDeleteI think most people's bodies would shut down too. I mean, some it would take longer than others. I am sure there are outliers, though!
DeleteTaking time off the longer runs is 100% necessary. And you're right -- if you're not training for a marathon, there's no need for the really long runs. You've got a good, healthy balance of running and strength and cross training. Keep doing what you're doing and don't play the comparison game!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Pretty sure that when most people read about a 25-mile week, they're damn impressed. As they should be.
Dang, thanks for the pep talk, Cassie! I value your opinion. :)
DeleteI haven't done anything longer than 10 miles in a long, long time as well. I felt really badly about it before I realized that I am not training for anything and it's silly to run long for no reason other than to maybe have some alone time. Also, as runners, our views are totally skewed. To me, anything less than 4 miles sounds really, really short. But to most people (my friends included), when I say, "I only ran 4 today," they respond, "Oh, you ONLY ran FOUR miles. Gosh, what a lazy ass." They push me back into reality that most people do not run every day.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, we need to step back and think about when we're doing a little bit, we're still actually doing A LOT!
DeleteI've been struggling because I ended the year not running as much as I wanted to and so far this first week has been awful - it hasn't helped that I've been fighting a major sore throat but still....
ReplyDeleteI hope you are feeling better soon, Kim!
DeleteWhen it comes to running, I haven’t really compared myself to others, because I know my race schedule and body and what is best for me personally. However, every since I started doing triathlon I can’t help but notice how much others are swimming or cycling. I try to stay out of the comparison trap, but sometimes that can be difficult when you are trying to get better and have a competitive side (which I do). At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you.
ReplyDeleteVery wise words! I also remember to tell myself that a lot of people OVER TRAIN and that is just not my style anymore, so I better just embrace it. :)
DeleteI only run half marathons now but after my last race I felt the same. I took some time off and would run maybe once or twice a week. I needed that though. I am hoping to be a long time runner so breaks are needed.
ReplyDelete