A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Hot Topics: Sexism.

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Hello Dear Readers!

Today's post is all about sexism. I think it's hard for men to understand the little forms of sexism women put up with each day. Of course I could go on and on about the big things- rape, reproductive health, equal pay, etc, etc, etc.... But today I am talking about the little things. However, these little things make me want to punch the man RIGHT IN THE FREAKING FACE.

Okay, I know violence is not the answer.

Here's what has been bugging me...

1. Men telling women to smile. 

I used to stop at the Hess Station on the way to work to get coffee once in awhile. Sometimes, the cashier behind the counter would tell me to smile.

Excuse me? Are you taking to me? You don't know me. I don't know you. Why are you telling me what to do with my face? I don't tell you what to do with your face. I don't tell you to do anything because it's none of my effing business just like it's NONE OF YOUR EFFING BUSINESS WHETHER I AM SMILING OR NOT!

This Funny or Die video basically sums it up. Women, I know you have experienced it. Men, watch this, and think twice about making random shitty comments to women.

2. Men thinking I need their "help".

A few weeks ago, teachers had an in-service day due to our school being a polling station. Some volunteers associated with the election had information tables set up in our lobby. Right beyond the lobby was the gym, where the actual voting took place.

About halfway through the morning, I left my classroom and went upstairs and walked through the lobby, heading to the office. I came from the hallway of classrooms and I was dressed professionally. To me, it was rather obvious I knew where I was going as I was an employee of the school.

One of the volunteers was a man who was probably in his 60s (aka not old at all). He approached me. "Miss, are you lost?" he asked me.

In the bitchiest voice I could muster, I said, "No, I work here." and kept walking.

This dude was new to MY workplace- somewhere I have worked for 11 years, and he is asking ME if I need HIS help!? I guarantee if I was a man, he would have not asked me if I was lost. I was not lost. I did not look lost. I was just a young (to him) girl who OHMYGOSH NEEDED A MAN TO HELP ME.

Ladies, what little forms of sexism do you have to deal with?


  1. I get more people judging me for my tattoos, re-marriage, 6 kids, and punkass teenage boys wearing metal shirts with skulls on them and images of cats breathing satan fire. By the time they get to the fact that I have a vagina, they're exhausted.

    I'm TOTALLY curious what it's like to have a penis, but just for a day. Totally curious. I'd go around peeing everywhere, I know it.

    1. Ewwww if I had a penis I would chop it right off. Did you ever see that Seinfeld episode where Elaine tells Jerry and George: "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

  2. THIS POST! I told Adam this story yesterday and he said it was kind of a ridiculous thing to bitch about, but I really think as a man he just doesn't get it!

    At my office we have two entrances. A main entrance and a side entrance that can only be accessed by taking a spiral staircase that runs along the building. I think it's main purpose is to act as a fire exit for the second floor, but we also can get buzzed into the building through it. If you don't work in the building you can't get in the side entrance so I not a lot of people use it.

    Across the street from my office building, facing the side entrance, is a gas station and a bus station. The other day a homeless man was sitting on the bench across the street facing the side entrance. I know he's homeless because he has begged me and my coworkers for money before. Not super important to the story but there ya go.

    I walked up the stairs to go in through door and he shouted at me "Miss, you can't go in that door, it's not an entrance!"

    Like in your story, clearly I was dressed up and walked to the staircase and up the stairs with purpose. I wasn't standing at the bottom of the staircase looking up at the door wondering if I could go through it.

    Why did this (homeless) man feel the need to give me direction?!

    Adam sees it as a man trying to help. I see it as a man telling me what to do when he should be minding his own business. I didn't ask for his help and he was WRONG! Of course I can go through the door! He just assumed he knew more than me or that he needed to help a woman out! Uh!

    1. Oh my that would have piiiiiiiissed me off. It strikes me as funny that even a homeless man (no disrespect to the homeless) feels the need to "help" you!!!!!

      Also, if he was as observant as he "seemed" to be, he should know that you work there!

      Paul's default answer would have been to assume the man was trying to help as well. Men don't see it from our point of view. We are "helped" much too often.

  3. You're right - even "woke" men don't truly grasp the level of sexism we face daily. Matt is a good example - he understands that sexism is real and he knows it's not just in the obvious examples like rape culture and overt sexism, but sometimes when I'm trying to explain the hate Hillary Clinton gets vs. ALL other male candidates, he has a hard time understanding that it's due to her being a woman/a wife and not due to her being liberal/a democrat.

    I've become a lot less tolerant of small sexist slights these days, and I call my students out on it as well. I just want to stop it early and draw attention to it; I'm tired of brushing it off. If that makes me an "over-sensitive woman", so be it.

    1. Hillary definitely gets more hate because she's a woman and it INFURIATES ME. Trump going after her for how she reacted to Bill's infidelities yet somehow no one cares Trump is on wife #3 and has cheated many times. Double standard. Women must be PERFECT. Men? Not so much.

      I am so glad you draw attention to it to your students. I don't really see it as much at the elem. level but over the past several years I have become increasingly hyper aware of *not* perpetuating those small sexist things. Example: If I need kids to move desks, music stands, etc, I don't just ask boys. I ask girls and boys or sometimes just GIRLS! :) I know that is something small but that's where it starts!

  4. I think in general, I'm tired of people telling me to smile. It's like they don't realize I take my resting bitch face very seriously.

    I think the form of sexism that bothers me most is when Men use being a female and an insult... it can be as small as saying "You scream like a girl" to "Don't be a little bitch" or "don't be a pussy". Let's be real, if we need a more appropriate body part to talk about fear, why don't we say, "don't be such a penis/Testicle"... because we know those are the first to go hiding when it gets cold.

    1. Yes!! AND pussys are pretty damn powerful anyway! I mean, they squeeze out HUMAN BEINGS!!!! We should really be calling people pussys when they are tough and balls when they are being wimps.

    2. I like that! I'm going to go around saying "Don't be such a penis!"