A few months ago, my friend Cat recommended the podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin. The podcast clicked with me right away. I love Gretchen and Liz's Happiness Hacks, Try This At Home tips, and their discussions on The Four Tendencies.What is the Four Tendencies? It is a framework that describes how we each respond to outer and inner expectations. Here is a description of each tendency straight from Gretchen's website:
Upholder: “I do what others expect of me—and what I expect from myself.”
Questioner: “I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t do it.”
Obliger: “I do what I have to do. I don’t want to let others down, but I may let myself down.”
Rebel: “I do what I want, in my own way. If you try to make me do something—even if I try to make myself do something—I’m less likely to do it.”
The other night (when I couldn't fall asleep!) I finally decided to take the Four Tendencies Quiz to find out if I was an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel. My result came loud and clear. I am a Questioner. And after reading the description of a Questioner, I wholeheartedly believe the quiz got it right!
Here are some characteristics of Questioners:
- Questioners only respond to expectations that make sense. Expectations must be inner expectations.
- Questioners resist anything that lacks purpose.
- Questioners are motivated by reason and fairness.
- Questioners tend to be intellectually engaged and will do research.
- Questioners tend to only take direction from people they respect.
- Questioners dislike being questioned themselves. They feel they consider their decisions carefully and don't want to justify them.
- Questioners will stick to a new habit if they find it useful.
Now go take the Four Tendencies Quiz (it takes like 5 minutes) and let me know what you are in the comments!
It sounds like I would be a questioner too. I guess I should take the quiz and find out!
ReplyDeleteYes, let me know what you are. :)
DeleteMegan - I took the quiz and I am a questioner as well. Really, it describes me very well.
ReplyDeleteon another note, awesome news on the election, huh? finally, some good news. I like to think we are going in the right direction again. Kristen
Yes I am very pleased! PA reelected Dem. Gov. Tom Wolf so that is good. He will protect healthcare and women. And then of course we have the house! Yay! It was a stressful night. I forget what state you live in.
DeleteNew Jersey - the Dems in my district won, thank goodness! They will protect women/healthcare and fight against #45. Both my husband and I are originally from PA, so we are happy that Wolf won again.
DeleteYay congrats to Jersey! I have and aunt and uncle in Delran.
DeleteI took the quiz and got obliger which annoys me. I guess I wish I wasn’t an obliger but the description definitely fits.
ReplyDeleteWell it just means you meet outer expectations. That's GOOD!
DeleteMine said Upholder! The description said "They wake up and think: “What’s on the schedule and the to-do list for today?” YEP!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL upholders seem so grown up.
DeleteI will need to take the quiz but my gut tells me I am a combo of upholder & questioner.
ReplyDeleteKeep me posted!
DeleteUpholder! I knew it :)
DeleteI'm somewhere between questioner and rebel. I want to be a questioner, but too often I get frustrated at myself for not even doing the things that I know is good for me!
ReplyDeleteMy mom thinks I am sometimes a rebel. :) I wonder if questioners are apt to sometimes be rebels as well!? I feel like questioners are controlling and so are rebels so they could crossover?
DeleteI tried to do this quiz and couldn't get through it. It felt so repetitive and none of the answers applied to me at all! Maybe that means I'm a mix of all of them. Like, sometimes I can stick to a habit because I just want to, and sometimes I need accountability. Sometimes I do things people expect because that's how life works, but often I do things my way or resist if I don't like an expectation that's been set. I'm an enigma haha!
ReplyDelete