Woot! Running with my brother!

The great thing about having a bad run is that as soon as you have a good run, the bad run is erased. The main reason I ran yesterday was to try to erase Friday's bad run as soon as possible! And holy moly, it worked!

I ran in my hometown (Millersburg) with my brother. We ran down by the river, out Shippy Dam Road, past a couple Amish farms, and then back into town. It was was sunny and SCORCHING. We had barely any shade. We also pushed the pace a bit, even though the whole route was rolling hills.

Running with my brother is so fun. He is really fast, so he pretty much lets me set the pace. He is fun to talk to and I love seeing him healthy and strong doing something he loves.

The run was hard, but it was supposed to be hard. What sucked about Friday's run was that a 9 minute pace on FLAT terrain seemed unbearable. But today, with 6 miles in the heat and the hills, we busted out a couple sub 8s and ended up averaging an 8:14 pace. It was weird to see that pace on my watch. For 12 weeks I was only ever supposed to run a 8:53, 7:49, 7:39 or 6:53 (depending on the workout). It's been a long ass time since I just ran WHATEVER pace I felt like running.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything stupid like go back to running six days per week. Four days per week sounds just perfect right now. And I am like 95% sure I'm not running the marathon. Unless in the next 2-3 weeks, running a marathon starts to sound fun to me, then I will do it. But I really don't see myself getting to that place.

But maybe if I run with my brother more, it will change my mind? I mean seriously, who wouldn't want to run with this guy!?

How often do you just run whatever pace feels good with no agenda?
Do you have any Amish farms near you?

Well, that run sucked!

 After my crap-tastic 10 miler on Sunday, I took FOUR DAYS OFF RUNNING. I lifted three of those days and the other day I just sat on my ass.

Yesterday, I almost took a nap instead of running, but since Paul wanted to go to the gym (I'm his ride) I figured I may as well run. Besides, I missed the endorphins. And we were going to a carnival later that night so I was going to eat a lot of junk. Endorphins + junk food are totally valid reasons to run!

I secretly hoped that after four days off I would feel GREAT.

No so!

After just one mile, I was exhausted! I stopped to use a port o john and that little break gave me a second wind. But it only lasted a few seconds. I forced myself to finish 6 miles (because endorphins + junk food) but every step was an effort.

6 miles @ 8:57 pace was a HUGE EFFORT.

So weird.

Who the hell trains 3 months for a marathon and gets SLOWER?

Me. 

I might run tomorrow because who knows, maybe the run will feel good and it will erase this bad run!?

On the plus side, while I didn't gain any strength while I was focusing on my running, I didn't lose any strength either. I am still able to hit my normal weights for all my usual lifts. Woot!

When's the last time you took several days off running?
What's your favorite carnival food?

Friday 5!

 

I'm not linking up today because I am kind of getting sick of the prescribed themes for each Friday. For instance, today the theme is FITNESS, and I don't have anything to say about fitness. Instead, I will just catch you up on a couple things going on in my world...

1. I'm going bra-less. The other day I had to run errands and it was so freaking hot out. I wanted to wear the least amount of clothes as possible... which meant no bra. I decided I am SICK OF WEARING BRAS and from now on I'm not going to wear one if I don't feel like it. I eyed myself in the mirror and sure, my nipples were poking out a little, but so what!? EVERYONE HAS NIPPLES. Ya'all are going to have to get over it.

2. My face has blown up. So clearly I have been sad and stressed lately, and apparently it is showing all over my face. I have broken out so bad over the past couple days. I'd take a selfie sans make up but I am too embarrassed!

3. BURKE RAMSEY IS DOING AN INTERVIEW ON DR. PHIL! Yes, this is the older brother of JonBenet, who was one of only three other people in the house at the time of his sister's murder. He has NEVER spoken publicly about JonBenet's murder, but in September he will be on Dr. Phil! This leads me to believe he needs money...

4. I eat KFC now. I got a boxed meal at KFC a couple days ago. It had 3 huge pieces of chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, coleslaw, and a DIET pepsi. I ate half of it and it tasted awesome going down but didn't settle to well (surprise!!!). It wasn't so bad though, because I ate the other half of the meal the next night. I freaking love fried chicken.

5. Does anyone else sometimes get out of bed to kiss their cats (or dogs) goodnight one last time? I do this a lot. Wouldn't you????

Oh, one last thing before I say goodbye...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

AMMIRIGHT!!!!!!!!????????

What's your favorite fast food junk food?
Do you wear a bra?
Have any fun weekend plans?
Do you have a card with a chip? ISN'T IT ANNOYING?

Some things I know FOR SURE...

When last I left you, I told you how unhappy and frustrated I was with my marathon training. I have been feeling this way for a long time, but I kept pushing through and doing my best.

I kept waiting to feel confident.

I kept waiting to feel strong.

I kept waiting to feel like I was improving.

Weeks went by, and I didn't feel any of these things. It all came to a head on Sunday when I stopped to stretch during a 10 miler and I ended up sobbing in the grass. I've never cried during a run before. Something was wrong.

What I couldn't figure out was whether this feeling was normal during Hansons training. One of the main elements of the program is the concept of cumulative fatigue. Am I actually improving, but I can't tell due to the heat, humidity, and cumulative fatigue of it all? Or am I not improving at all? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO TELL?????

Okay, let's not focus on what I don't know. Let's focus on what I do know.

Some things I know FOR SURE...

I am not a 6 day a week runner and I was STUPID to think I could be one for 18 weeks. 

I am not a high mileage runner and I was STUPID to think I could be one for 18 weeks.

I drank the Kool Aid. I got very excited reading the Hansons book and I thought as long as I followed the "rules" my body would feel strong and I would improve. I ran all the easy runs easy. I kept my paces in check on speed and tempo days. I ate good food. I slept. I stretched. I was a good little runner. My body still said... "NOPE."

I should have trusted in myself! I earned my current marathon PR by running 4-5 days per week, and there is no way I was running more than 40 mpw.

I am okay with not running the marathon on September 11th. There are lots of other marathons.

However, I do feel regret for wasting 3 months of my life following a training plan that has done jack shit for me other than given me a bad ass runners tan. **Note: I am not blaming the plan. Every person I know has had success with Hansons. My body is just not made for it.

I'm definitely leaning toward not running the marathon. I've trained for lots of marathons and the only time I felt more unprepared than now was when I ran Boston less than 3 months after knee surgery. I know I could run for "fun", but right now running a marathon does not sound like FUN!

I think there is a half I could bump down to, but I don't really feel like running a half.

I just don't feel like RUNNING.

I better get my shit together, or I'll have to change my blog name to Meg Go Lay On The Couch.

PS. I haven't run the past 3 days and it feels GREAT!!!

Fun Runner Survey- VLOG!

First of all, thank you everyone for your comments on yesterday's post. I didn't reply to any because I don't have any answers yet, but I have been thinking a lot, and I REALLY APPRECIATE your insight.

Second.... I have been quite negative in my last couple posts SO now it's time for something fun!!! I have a Vlog for you that I promise I recorded before I got into my little EMO FUNK. Hope you enjoy!!!!

Last week, Kristina did a Fun Running Survey vlog. Have I mentioned how much I love Kristina's Vlogs? She urged other bloggers to take the survey as well, so of course I did!

Please excuse the pjs, no make up, and overall lack of energy in this one!

Here are the questions:

1. Describe your first race.
2. What was your favorite race?
3. Pace group or no pace group?
4. What is your dream race?
5. Who is your favorite runner/who motivates you?

Please answer one of the questions in the comments!

If you have a blog, feel free to steal! And do it as a video. I love seeing other bloggers IN THE FLESH.

Via Marathon Training: Week 12 (Probably my last training recap.)

My plan said to do 55 miles.

I ran 39 and walked/hiked 12.

I didn't even reach the prescribed mileage including my walks and hikes.

I am pretty sure I am scrapping the marathon. So this could be my last marathon training recap.

Before I decide for sure, I am taking about 5 days off running. Can't wait!!!

Monday- Lifting Back @ Planet Fitness. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and felt pain in my left heel. EFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!! (This is how my PF started at the beginning of the summer.) I went to bed totally intending to bag the whole marathon. When I woke up in the morning, the pain was there, but disappeared after about 5 minutes of walking around. I made the decision to not run until Wednesday, and only if the heel pain was completely gone.

I had a great workout at the gym. Obviously I have been neglecting my lifting a bit due to running all the freaking time. It was nice to get back at it and I was happy to see I hadn't lost any strength.

Asst. Wide Grip Pull Ups- 5x8x16lb asst.

Asst. Neutral Grip Pulls Ups- 5x8x16lb asst.

Inverted Row- 5x10

Lat Pull Down- 5x10x70lb

Cable Row- 5x10x50lb

Bicep Curls- 3x10x17.5lb, 2x12x15lb

Capt. Chair- 5x20

Bicycle Cruches- 5x40

Stability Ball Sit Ups- 5x15x15lb

Stability Ball Knee Tuck- 5x15

Hip/Glute Exercises

Calf Stretches

Tuesday- Chest @ home. My foot felt fine when I woke up and I really wanted to run... but I kept to my promise and lifted instead. I also went for a 4 mile walk that evening with my friend Bree!

Chest Press- 5x10x25lb

Push Ups- 5x10

Shoulder Press- 5x10x20lb

Tricep Dips- 5x15

Bicycles- 5x40

Stability Ball Sit Ups- 5x15x15lb

Stability Ball Pull Ins- 5x15

Hip/Glute Exercises

Wednesday- Strength workout: 4x1.5 miles @ MP minus 10 seconds (7:39). This whole workout was to be 10 miles total but I shaved some off the warm up, cool down, and recovery periods so I came out with 8 miles. I was tired by the third repeat, but I was never at the point where I didn't think I could get it done. It was hot out!

Splits: 7:36, 7:34, 7:38, 7:35
(average pace per mile, not the amount of time it took to run 1.5 miles...)

Thursday- 6 easy miles. This is going to sound weird but I couldn't remember this run. I had to consult my Garmin! Eventually I realized why I couldn't remember the run. I got my period that morning and I felt like complete SHIT, so I must have just blocked it out! All I could manage was a 9:20 pace.

Friday- 8 miles @ MP. I only warmed up and cooled down with a half mile each because I was pressed for time. This was a good run. I felt pretty strong. Later that day, I hike 8 miles in Shenandoah National Park with Karen. She is a fast hiker so I really got a workout.

Saturday- 6 easy miles. I wanted to do 8 miles but it was so freaking humid and I was tired. I just wasn't feeling it. I reminded myself that I ran 9 and hiked 8 the day before and it was no wonder I was tired... but I was still hard on myself since the plan said to do 10.

Sunday- 10 miles. My knee and ITB hurt almost the whole time. Not happy. I have not been happy since early June, in fact. Reconsidering the entire marathon. I stopped in the middle of my run to cry. I never, ever cried during a run before. Methinks this is a sign??????

Training Goals:

FUCK'EM!!!!

How were your workouts this week?

Weekend Wrap Up!

Intro!

Today was a big day! Not only did I have to complete an 8 mile tempo run, but I was driving to the Shenandoah Mountains to finally meet Karen for a hike!

My alarm went off at 5:30, which is the earliest I have gotten up all summer besides when we were on vacation. The kitties were certainly confused by the early wake up call.

I nailed my tempo run and had just enough time to stretch and eat before I left for Virginia. On the way down, I talked to Paul on the phone (he was on vacation with his family so I hadn't seen him all week) and listened to a bunch of podcasts. The drive down flew by! Even though I drove through 4 states!

Meeting Karen was awesome! I wrote more about our meetup here. But the short story is, we hiked 8 miles and I was pooped by the time we were done.

The drive home was long. My knee hurt and I was all sweaty and tired. Boy was I excited to get home!

The rest of the night I relaxed with the kitties. Paul got home around 11:00. He literally spent the entire day in the car traveling! Poor guy.

I slept hard and am too ashamed to tell you what time I woke up. Okay, it was close to 11:00.

My plan was to run 8 miles but it was so freaking humid that I called it a day after 6 miles. You would think a good sweat session would put me in a good mood, but for some reason it put me in a bad mood. Seriously, for some reason, I was mad, sad, and tired the whole day.

I did run a couple errands. I bought sugar. Can you tell I was feeling emotional?

Go big or go home.

I decided to try reading the Harry Potter series. My friend Bree ultimately convinced me. I was hoping I would like it because it would be fun to have books and movie to look forward to...

...Except I finally called it quits on page 70. I couldn't take it anymore. Not for me. Oh well, I gave it a shot!

The rest of the day I was mopey. I did jack crap. And it wasn't fun. I was just like BLAH all freaking day for no reason. It was seriously a shitty, shitty day.

I ran 10 miles in the morning and it sucked. I even stopped around mile 8 and cried while I stretched in the grass. I made myself finish the last 2 miles. When I got home I looked at my training schedule and saw that I was supposed to run 8 miles the next day. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK??? WHEN IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO RECOVER FROM MY 10 MILER TODAY????

I spent the rest of the day reconsidering the marathon and being mad about the entire situation I got myself into. 

Paul and I went to Burlington Coat Factory to putz around before dinner at Empire Asian Bistro where they have half priced sushi on Sundays.

When they seated us at the sushi place, it was right in front of a tank of crabs. I couldn't take it. I got up and left and poor Paul followed me out. I was just already in a bad mood and couldn't take sitting in front of that tank of crabs.

So instead I got KFC. Because no animals were harmed for this meal, am I right????

As you can tell from this CRAZY behavior from me I am not happy and I am not myself. More on that tomorrow I guess? I don't feel very sane right now, which may be a little EMO but I am seriously just trying to type this wrap up out so it can get posted in the morning.

The horrible, daunting marathon kept weighing on my mind.

After a post in the Hansons FB group and crying about the overwhelming shitty replies,  I consulted with my life coach, Kristina and decided that I am so over this training and I am done. I am so unhappy. More on that tomorrow..

Could you get into Harry Potter?
Ever go to Shenandoah National Park?
How was your weekend???