Well, guess what? This past week, he was gone again for a couple days! This time, I did much better coping. I basically decided that I could either work myself into a frenzy again, or I could just CHILL. I opted for somewhere in the middle.
(The funny thing is, statistically, a woman like me is most likely to be murdered by her husband. So when Paul is away, I'm actually safer!)
I still took all the proper precautions I took last time... which I won't get into specifically because I don't want to advertise to the world what I do, but I chose to trust in those precautions, thus, relaxing.
Actually, I took a couple less precautions than I did last time. I didn't lock the bathroom door when I showered. On my morning runs, I didn't run loops around my house, I ventured out a little farther. And since this was such a busy week for me at school, I barely had time to obsess and worry about the cats while I wasn't home.
One thing I did do was take my hair straightener with me when I left the house in the morning. Normally when I leave, it is still a little hot, but I'm not worried about it because Paul is home. But when he's not home? That warm(ish) hair straightener goes with me!
Never leave the house without a turkey sandwich and a hair straightener...
I can really work myself into a frenzy about things. You know how scared I get to fly and how I'm convinced that the plane will crash? Well, when Paul flies, I am barely scared at all! I just figure he'll be fine... But I do check his flight status to make sure they landed in one piece.
Do you ever have to CHOOSE to calm down and not worry about something so you can be happy?
I'm glad you were a little calmer this time around. I can't even remember a time when I felt uneasy to be home without my husband. I think I'm use to it...lol It never occurred to me to check his flight number to see if the plane landed. I'm a horrible spouse! Love that pic of Jelly.
ReplyDeleteYou are not horrible, I bet he flies all the time and you are just used to it. I'm surprised you're not scared especially after that story you told me!
DeleteGlad you were a bit calmer even though Paul is gone, but I agree that it is rough being alone and having the house to yourself, etc, all the time. There's something comforting for me about hearing Clay's SUV pull up at the same time each evening... it's the simple things like that.
ReplyDeleteAlso crazy that a woman is more likely to be murdered by her husband than anyone else. Sad but I'm not surprised you know statistics like that since you're a crime buff.
Yup it's true! For a,woman like me who doesn't have a high risk lifestyle and I live in a good neighborhood, it's more likely my spouse or someone else close to me would kill me!
DeleteWhat did you do with your hair straightener? Did you leave it in the car? I really love that you took it with you! When Roger and I are traveling for a few days, I unplug everything in the apartment! this also saves us some money on electricity.
ReplyDeleteI know you have friends and family around, but you need something or somebody when Paul is not there, text me anytime.
I chose everyday to not stress out about work... whatever I get done when I'm here, it's what gets done. If I stress out at work, it will be impossible for me to be productive.
Yup I left it in the car! Paul is all about unplugging stuff when we go away. Now our keyring, toaster, etc are always unplugged but he will do tv and computer. Staying calm at work is definitely a CHOICE hehe... But a good one. I am a way better teacher when I'm calm.
DeleteI get myself into a frenzy too when I have to fly. I've had turbulence a couple times, and I already hate to fly, so that just made it worse. Now I panic before I fly, but I seem OK on the plane... unless there's turbulence.
ReplyDeleteOkay I'm going to. Tell you something I learned about turbulence from a podcast with a pilot. The only reason pilots try to avoid turbulence is for the comfort of the passengers. Planes are made for turbulence. Airplanes that only carry oackages.. those pilots will not alter their route due to turbulence!
DeleteI very often have to just take a deep breath at work! Some days my job is just downright frustrating and stressful (working with computers), but in the end, no lives are being lost if a program doesn't run, or a report doesn't print, so I just remind myself about that. Stressing out is not going to help anything.
ReplyDeleteGlad Paul had a safe trip... and you weren't murdered :)
Awww thank you I am glad I wasn't murdered either! :) Computers frustrate me so much... do you ever get tired of looking at them all day?
DeleteI feel like I have to choose nonstop all day long to not freak out. I'm just wired that way, that my knee jerk reaction is worst-case scenario and I'm constantly talking myself off the ledge. Jelly looks so handsome!
ReplyDeleteThe older I get, the more "worst case scenario" I get. I used to not be this way! But were you always this way?
DeleteThank you! I think Jelly looks handsome, yet forlorn.
I'm laughing that you took the hair straightener with you. That's definitely something I would do... except when Adam is gone I usually don't wake up early enough to straighten my hair because I stay in bed to the last possible minute since it takes me so long to fall asleep!
ReplyDeleteI do unplug EVERYTHING just in case an outlet malfunctions (?!) and whatever is plugged in catches on fire! On normal days I do not worry about this but I have such a heightened sense of fear when Adam's gone. I mean WTF. I am an independent woman... who cannot function like a normal person when Adam is gone :/.
Usually when he has to travel for work he's gone for 7 to 10 days and I do find towards the end I stress less because a.) i'm exhausted from not sleeping or b.) i am so exhausted that i actually can sleep!
No, I GET IT. It's not that we *need* a man, but if someone wants to rape and kill us, it will be easier to do when the person who lives with us ISN'T THERE. I am the same- every fear is HEIGHTENED when Paul is gone.
DeleteAnd you know... I lived alone in an apartment for THREE YEARS before I got married and never worried about this shit. It's the whole getting old thing...
I'm glad you thought the hair straightener was funny! I seriously took it with me to work two days and then when I went shopping for my romper I took it with me too lol.
That must suck when Adam is gone for so long! I am so sorry. Was it better when you had your apartment vs. your house?
"(The funny thing is, statistically, a woman like me is most likely to be murdered by her husband. So when Paul is away, I'm actually safer!)" LOL!!!! That is so true and weird to think about...
ReplyDeleteI love that you took the straightener to work with you!! When Matt isn't home, I get paranoid that I've left it plugged in, left the coffee pot on, or left the garage door up. I have actually made a u-turn and gone home to check on these things...and then been kind of late for work.
Lately when Matt is gone I find I sleep better because I can have the entire bed to myself and he isn't there playing on his phone. I'm sensitive to the light, and it keeps me from falling deeply asleep sometimes.
I am guilty of sometimes being on my phone. That's what I do when I can't sleep.
DeleteYou told me about being really worried about leaving something on/open at home. I knew you'd think the hair straightener thing was hilarious!
Also yes. Women like us, it's our husbands that kill us. Unless you live a secret high risk lifestyle I don't know about. :)