On Monday night I fell asleep sometime after 11pm and woke up on Tuesday morning at 1:17am... and never fell back asleep.
If I get a couple good nights of sleep in a row, it's inevitable that I will have a terrible night like this. It is also inevitable it will be on a day where I teach all my normal music classes, chorus, an instrumental lesson, and then 4 piano lessons after school.
So what does one do with all that extra time in the morning? I drank coffee, blogged, caught up on the news, and watched Monday's episode of The View.
Senator Ben Sasse's appearance on The View enraged me and had me shouting "You're a piece of shit!!!!" at the television before it was even 5am. (Sorry, Paul.) In his segment, he mansplained to the women how he supports the Me Too movement and still voted to confirm Kavanaugh. I really wanted to punch him. And I very rarely want to punch people. But when I do want to punch someone, it's usually a Republican senator.
Work was really tough. It was one of those days where I questioned SERIOUSLY whether I can be a teacher for another 21 years. I definitely can't do my job the way it is now for 21 more years. It's only October and I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I feel bad complaining because a lot of my colleagues are struggling right now. I'm not the only one.
Also, this is going to sound crazy, but I have been having serious thoughts about discontinuing my blog. I don't have anything to write about anymore, and I think I know why- I am too busy to sit down and be creative. I've also lost a little bit of interest in it... documenting my life like this. I mean, time doing something you enjoy is never time wasted, but if I'm not enjoying it anymore, then it is wasted time. I don't know if I'm enjoying it at the moment or not.
I'm mulling it around. And I know what you're going to say... Keep the blog, just don't blog every day. But you know me by now. I'm an all or nothing type of person...
So what does one do with all that extra time in the morning? I drank coffee, blogged, caught up on the news, and watched Monday's episode of The View.
Senator Ben Sasse's appearance on The View enraged me and had me shouting "You're a piece of shit!!!!" at the television before it was even 5am. (Sorry, Paul.) In his segment, he mansplained to the women how he supports the Me Too movement and still voted to confirm Kavanaugh. I really wanted to punch him. And I very rarely want to punch people. But when I do want to punch someone, it's usually a Republican senator.
Work was really tough. It was one of those days where I questioned SERIOUSLY whether I can be a teacher for another 21 years. I definitely can't do my job the way it is now for 21 more years. It's only October and I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I feel bad complaining because a lot of my colleagues are struggling right now. I'm not the only one.
Also, this is going to sound crazy, but I have been having serious thoughts about discontinuing my blog. I don't have anything to write about anymore, and I think I know why- I am too busy to sit down and be creative. I've also lost a little bit of interest in it... documenting my life like this. I mean, time doing something you enjoy is never time wasted, but if I'm not enjoying it anymore, then it is wasted time. I don't know if I'm enjoying it at the moment or not.
I'm mulling it around. And I know what you're going to say... Keep the blog, just don't blog every day. But you know me by now. I'm an all or nothing type of person...
Do you envision yourself at your job for the rest of your career? How long will that be?
Who was the last person you wanted to punch? Be honest!!!!!
Have you ever seen a dr about your sporadic sleep pattern? Perhaps they could help you find a way to get more sleep ( different rituals or something).
ReplyDeleteI know I mentioned this before and you weren't interested but I really think if you are going to stop blogging that you should do Instagram! I know a lot of bloggers that stopped their blog but they can still tell what ever stories (about racing, pets, vacay, or whatever) through IG and it's so fun to connect with them. You can also link it right to Facebook so you dont jave to do 2 separate posts. I know I've been sharing most of my life on IG lately instead of the blog. I wonder how often we will continue to blog too?
I did see a doctor once and started taking melatonin and otc sleeping pills but they lost their effectiveness. The problem is the cats. They wake me up and then I can't fall back asleep. If I didn't have the cats I would sleep much better.
DeleteThanks for the tip about IG, I will look into that. It sounds like it's really popular!
I agree...if you stop blogging you should start doing IG stories. Quick snipets from your day and if you have a longer conversation planned, you can do an IG live! You know I LOOOOOVE your blog. I used to read about 6-7 and I stopped and now just read yours! I am not on FB as much anymore but I love IG stories. I follow only those that are interesting, entertaining, inspiring (you fit those categorie plus you are my friend). I appreciate all the work you put into your blog, Megan and I am grateful that I found it because now I have a friend that I would probably have never met. I support you 100%. OK, so the last person I wanted to punch: my 7 year old nephew. LOL. That kid can be a total brat! UGH.
ReplyDeleteLOLLLLL at your nephew!! That is hilarious. I'm glad this is a safe space for you to share that info. :)
DeleteI am so glad you found my blog too because now we are friends!! I will have to look at this IG stuff. Maybe I could blog 3-4 days per week and do IG story the other days? I guess I have to download IG again and learn how to use it.
Girl, I hear you on the blogging. Whenever I'm busiest it's the first thing I think about cutting from my life. Even the simplest blog with pictures or a vlog takes a good 45 minutes to an hour to put together daily, and I always think about what I could do with that extra hour or so.
ReplyDeleteFor me, ultimately, blogging/vlogging is one of my only creative outlets at the moment so I'm too afraid to drop it for that reason. Also because my therapist thinks talking through my day helps me see patterns that I could change to reduce stress/anxiety/bad eating habits and there's some truth to it. If you asked me on a day I didn't vlog what my stress was from I'd say "work" but if I had a vlog to watch back I can rerun the day in my head in detail and can see all the factors that contributed to how I felt. Even if I don't explicitly say what I was stressed out in the vlog I can remember "oh yeah in that moment i was worried about X."
Anyway, I agree with the above comments on IG stories! I deleted my Snapchat (and barely use FB anymore) but I still look at and post Instagram stories every day and wish you posted there :)
Yeah I'm not sure I have a creative outlet besides blogging either. I mean, I am creative in my teaching but that's not FOR me.
DeleteIt is super nice to have documentation of thoughts, feelings, workouts, etc. I can see how that could help you in your therapy.
Maybe this weekend I will try to figure out instagram.
I think that was one of the hardest aspects to accept when I left my job at CU. I'd seen myself being there much longer than I was, and despite the struggles, it took me a few months to finally admit it was time to look elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteThat was probably a disappointment. At least you figured it out and took the next step.
DeleteI've never really wanted to punch anyone, but when orange face comes on TV, I have to restrain myself.
ReplyDeleteWell, you said it already, but I am going to say it anyway: you don't HAVE TO blog every day. Set yourself a schedule of 3 blog posts a week and you won't feel so "drained" by it... or... just take a break for a while and see how you feel about coming back. (I would hate for you to stop blogging altogether).
Do you normally call him orange face? Paul is the only one I know who calls him orange face!
DeleteI think I would hate to stop blogging too. Perhaps this is a phase.
We call him "orange man"... or sometimes just "the clown" or "the idiot". ha.
DeleteThose are all very good descriptions.
DeleteLOL :P
DeleteHow about you blog on Mon-Thurs, because those are the days I get to read? :) I do enjoy seeing a blog that has something to talk about every day, even if it's random. Confession, even more so when it's random because I am just not into the political stuff! I get to hear enough of that at home. haha! I can't think of the last time I wanted to punch someone - but I'm pretty quick with my temper (it goes pretty fast) so I don't dwell on it. As for IG, I don't really like the stories! A viewer can't really have much of a conversation on there. As least that what it seems like. IG is my happy place - I only follow fun stuff on there! (aka, great place when I'm sick of my FB friends ranting).
ReplyDeleteI agree with her on the stories. I personally dont like them and rarely watch them. They are not interactive either ( unless you send someone a direct message). I much rather see pictures and text through someone's feed than have to watch their story. I think you are cool with IG since you did set it up before but if you have any questions this weekend while you are looking into it more let me know.
DeleteI understand not wanting to be inundated with political stuff- I do have to take a break from it now and then. But if it is on my mind and I feel the need to talk about it, I do. With of course the understanding that people may skip because they may just be OVER IT.
DeleteSometimes I feel bad about not talking about the state of our country more than I do because I feel like it is so important... but there are other people that are way better at talking about it than me. I mean like literally today all I could muster is about how I want to punch someone in the face lol!!!
I love your Mon-Thurs suggestion. ;)
FB can get toxic, I have thought of giving it up but I do get a lot of news from their (real news, like from Washington Post and CNN, not like, random neighbor who is reposting stuff from Breitbart lol) but of course I could seek out the news from their direct website, I wouldn't have to do it through Facebook.
So much to think about! Thanks for sharing, LIsa!!
This is just a reminder that if I didn't blog, I wouldn't have fun convos with you a couple times a week. Although I know if we were neighbors we'd prob run together and be great friends.
I agree about stories, I can hardly keep up with regular IG and you can't even "like" the stories, let alone interact otherwise. I have used them sparsely, but I prefer the regular IG feed.
DeleteJust wanted to make a comment related to you thinking about giving up Facebook. Over a year ago I unfollowed EVERYONE except for the few friends I truly cared about and some sites, like my town police department. It is lifechanging. I always heard suggestions about unfollowing specific people, but that only cuts out the truly bad parts and not all the neutral stuff that's not adding anything to your life. Cultivating your newsfeed to only show what you've actively decided it should show is a great way to make it work for you! You can still search your friends who have had "recent posts", which I do every now and then just to keep up with those I care about.
ReplyDeleteGreat tip, Laura!!!! I have unfollowed a lot of people that were very negative, but I totally see what you mean about the "neutral" stuff too. Thanks for that suggestion!
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