Happy Weekend, everyone! I feel like I haven't spoken to you all in so long. I have been posting blogs every day, but they were pre-written blogs that were scheduled ahead of time. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to have blogs scheduled but it certainly makes me feel a bit disconnected.It is sort of weird how it worked out... I had blogs scheduled to post because we thought we would be in Baltimore for Paul's surgery this week. It was supposed to be this past Wednesday. We found out six days beforehand that it was pushed back until September 17th. Yes, this is the second time it was pushed back.
So anyway, we were a little upset about that, but had a long, fun, Labor Day weekend planned to cheer us up. The weekend started out nice, but on Saturday, Paul had a seizure while he was playing disc golf. I wasn't with him, which I regret more than I can even express. Luckily, he knew it was going to happen and was able to flag someone down to call 911 before he went into status epilepticus. I feel sick even typing those words. Since he wouldn't stop seizing, they had to sedate him to the point that he needed to be on life support. About twenty-four hours later, when the doctors were sure the seizures had completely stopped for awhile, they slowly woke him up. Thankfully, even though he wasn't himself right away, after about a day and a half, he was my Paul again. We came home from the hospital on Tuesday and ever since then, we have just been enjoying being together as much as possible.
Those twenty-four hours he was sedated was the worst day of my life. We have certainly been through similar situations before, but this one seemed to be the worst- worse than his first brain surgery. Even now, it is hard for me to relax. I jump at every weird noise. If I'm at work and he doesn't text me right back I feel very apprehensive until I hear from him. Actually, apprehensive is an understatement. It may be a bit dramatic, but that is how I feel right now. Hopefully with time, things will go back to the way they were and I won't be as worried anymore.
I am so glad it is the weekend and we can just lay around in our pjs and be together. I know I have said it before, but I'll say it again. Any "boring" old day at home in my pjs with Paul is the BEST DAY EVER.
How I wish we lived closer and I could come by and give you a hug. I can only imagine the range of emotions you go through on a daily (hourly?) basis. I've been in similar situations with a loved one & to say "it turns your world upside down" doesn't even begin to explain...
ReplyDeleteKnow you are in my thoughts and my prayers and I am always here for you.
Hugs to both you and Paul.
Thanks Sue! This blog has been a great coping mechanism. Even if I don't chat about Paul's health a lot, it is still good to escape reality and talk about silly things.
DeleteI can't imagine who terrifying that must be for both you and Paul, and how frustrating it is to keep having surgery pushed back. Will the surgery eliminate that happening? Reduce frequency? I'm glad you both are just relaxing and spending QT together. In the end life is always about the people and relationships. We think all this other big stuff matters but it's really the small, simple stuff, like love.
ReplyDeleteThe surgery will hopefully reduce his seizures. But they thought the first surgery would. He has a brain tumor and they can't get the whole tumor out because it is around blood vessels. Last year they got all of it out that they could. So if parts of it that are still in there are causing problems, I'm not sure what it is they can do? We go to Johns Hopkins though, so they are the experts and we know we are in the BEST hands. His surgeon- boy are we lucky to have him!
DeleteYou and Paul have to be the strongest, most amazing pair of people I have ever met. I can not imagine the anxiety you are dealing with right now. Again, Megan, you are so amazing to be working and dealing with the rest of your life all while scared shitless. It would be my honor to help you in any way I can, getting groceries, cooking, cat sitting... Please know I have the time and would love to help you guys out in any way you need.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being such a great friend, Bree!!!!! :)
DeleteI can't imagine how scary that had to be for you (and of course for Paul)! I didn't realize that people had to be put on life support as a result of sedation - glad he got treatment quickly!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope that you are able to relax some this weekend!!!
Yes, they hook you all up to the machines because if you are sedated too much, you cannot breathe on your own, or there is a risk that you wouldn't breathe on your own. He required quite a lot of sedation to stop the seizing so there really was no question about it- he needed it.
DeleteMy heart goes out to you! What a horrible thing to have to go through, the worrying must drive you crazy! Hopefully once he finally does get the surgery it will bring good things and maybe ease some of the anxiety. Enjoy the weekend in PJ's! Sounds so fun :)
ReplyDeleteI really hope the surgery helps, he deserves some good news! :)
DeleteEnjoy your weekend together. I can't even imagine how terrifying that must have been. I'd feel the same about the immediate text reply. I really hope everything works out with the surgery and reduce the seizures.
ReplyDeleteMe too, he deserves some relief!
DeleteWow, thank goodness Paul is now okay. I can only imagine how scared you must have been!
ReplyDeleteIt was horrible. I am so thankful he is alright now.
DeleteWhat a nerve wracking week but hopefully things will remain quiet until the surgery and that it helps reduce the seizures. Thinking of you, Meg! Hope you and Paul are having a great weekend and that the Bills win for Paul tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteAw I hope so too! And I hope his fantasy team does well. ;)
DeleteOh my gosh. That is some scary stuff. You are so strong and have such a positive attitude. I can't imagine how hard it was to see Paul sedated and to have to wait to see what would happen. I'm thinking of you both!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ali :)
DeleteOh Megan, you have had your fair share this past year or so... Keeping you and Paul in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeletePaul is lucky to have you.... I feel the love you have for him in your words... So sorry he and you have to go through this... scary is an understatement... I am not religious but I will be sending him positive thoughts (and you too!)
ReplyDeleteThanks Joanne! I am lucky to have him.
Delete"A day with a loved is something we can't put a value on." <--------- Yup.
ReplyDeleteWe love you guys! Fingers majorly crossed leading up to and throughout the surgery. So thankful that you're in such great hands with Paul's surgeon, and that you guys have each other :)
ReplyDelete