Guys, I am so afraid of flying. I hate flying so much. Even typing this post and thinking about my trip to Florida (and back!) makes me want to both cry and poop at the same time. I am so nervous. I have never flown by myself, I have always been with Paul.
But even with Paul, it scares me. I usually cry (for real) during take off. Don't worry, I hide it and don't let anyone see. I take Ativan to help with this fear, and it takes about 1.5mg for me to keep my shit together. I am still scared, but not as scared.
My itinerary has me flying from Harrisburg to Charlotte. After a short layover there, I fly to Fort Myers. The trip is the same on the way back- a layover in Charlotte. I wish it was a straight shot but obviously that would have cost a lot more money. I will just have to suck it up and endure 4 takeoffs and 4 landings.
American Airlines allowed me to choose my seats. I researched which seats are the safest and those are the ones I chose on each flight. I'm basically right by the emergency exit on the aisle.
I read a lot of articles about flying. This one about airplane noises is very interesting to me, because I am definitely someone worried about every single noise. I always say to Paul, "Is that normal?" Yes, I am a dream to travel with.
So why am I flying if I am so scared? Well, because when I signed up for this race in August, it was easy for me to be all motivated to CONQUER MY FEARS and LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. Now that the day is almost here, it is becoming more and more real that I am going to be extremely uncomfortable and scared during these flights.
I am not sure what the point of this post is, other than to write out all of my feelings!
Do you have any fears?
Aw I am not a fan of spiders either... I mean little ones are fine, but the HUGE ones? I saw a huge one run behind our dryer once. I couldn't believe how big it was.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, looking out the window is not going to work for me hahaha!
I am sorry this is so difficult for you--maybe 1/2 ativan and a small cocktail to help? I would also just try to put on a podcast or something to try to take your mind off it (I know, there is no "taking your mind off a fear when you are IN it..."). I am probably most afraid of losing another loved one, specifically Rick since he is the most amazing person I have ever met. And day to day when I am out running, I get scared of being attacked. I try to stay very focused on my surroundings and definitely stay in well lit areas but I am always aware of it and pray it never happens.
ReplyDeleteAw man I wish I could do a small cocktail! Can you take those onto the plain or do you have to buy them on the plain?? You are right, when you are IN it you can't take your mind off it, so I just gotta try to make my brain a little more foggy hehe.
DeleteYou have expressed before your fear of losing Rick and I totally get it. I certainly can't imagine my life without Paul. He's my Rick. :)
I'm not scared of flying, but I don't exactly love when the plane takes off either. I always imagine if something bad was going to happen it would be during that time. To calm my anxiety at the beginning of a flight I always have something to distract myself. Like Susan mentioned a good podcast or audio book can be helpful. I start it before the plane even begins taxiing to the runway that way I'm really into it before we start moving.
DeleteI'm looking forward to seeing you SOOOOOOON!
Thank you for that tip, I am going to think about it and hopefully distract myself!
DeleteEven though it would cost more, wouldn't it be better to have fewer stops? I watched a show once about helping people get over their fear of flying, and pretty much they just made them fly.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about exactly what you are afraid of? For me, it's letting go of control. I can't control what happens to me once I'm on the plane. Once I realized that, I stopped struggling with flying. After all, I love to travel. And flying is that necessary evil. Of course, now I'm more annoyed with the whole airport scene...
Well, I fear the plane crashing and blowing up. I know cars can crash and blow up, but that doesn't mean certain death. I've been in car accidents and survived. I fear a plane crash which I am clearly less likely to survive! Sure it boils down to the unknown and lack of control, but even though I recognize that, I am still scared! I know why I am scared, I know it is illogical because flying is actually VERY safe. I would not be worried if a loved one of mine were flying, but when it is ME I am terrified. It is irrational! But that is how irrational fears work I suppose...
DeleteSure it would be worth the money for less stops but spending several hundred dollars on a plane ticket is a lot of money for me, let alone adding another couple hundred to that to pay for less stops. The good news is I am flying out of Harrisburg, which is like 20 min from my house. Very convenient.
The fear of flying is so common and so normal, and ativan certainly helps! You're not alone, and I think it's cool that you typed it out. Anxiety breeds in avoidance. You're strong and I love your attitude about doing this race and just facing it all. So proud of you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, but I feel sick about it! I wish I could just enjoy it like normal people!!!
DeleteAwww... I get it. I have those feelings too sometimes when flying. It sucks :( But, you will be fine, and you will be awesome. Adventure, here you come!!
ReplyDeleteAw thank you Lisa. :) I do need to focus on the fact that it is an ADVENTURE!
DeleteDuring take off I always have a sort of short oh my goodness moment, and then it passes once I realize how calm everyone else looks. I look at the flight attendants delivering food/beverages and think about how this is just another day at the office for them. I try to watch a movie to distract myself and I really do think it's amazing when I look out at the clouds!
ReplyDeleteNote to self: never sit between you and Matt on the plane! LOL, just kidding. Matt is also a very frequent, "Is this normal?" person. ;) You'll be fine I promise!
Awwww Matt sounds awesome! Listen if we ever fly together you can sit with Paul (someone who is calm) and I will sit with Matt. Actually, no we better not do that because Matt and I will lead each other to hyperventilate or flip out or something!
DeleteThe flight attendant thing is a good idea and I do try to do that. But I seriously find myself analyzing their facial expressions like to see if they are worried or something haha. Oh my word I just can't imagine being a flight attendant!!!
LOL....I just had a mental picture of you and Matt freaking out!
DeleteI definitely understand all your fears of flying cus I feel the same way. I always get a direct flight to Florida but I do like having a connection if I fly further than Texas. We must talk more about this flying thing when we meet up again. Lacey will certainly have some stories for you! -M
ReplyDeleteIf they are BAD stories I don't want to hear them! But does she give you any tips for not being afraid??? I was actually going to text you about this!
DeleteAs I've gotten older, I hate flying more and more. I used to fly a LOT as a kid, so I was very blasé about it all. These days I get much more nervous. Bring something comforting, like a sweater of Paul's, to cuddle and squeeze during takeoff. Make sure it smells like him! (I wear Matt's deodorant when I need to feel his presence...is that weird?!)
ReplyDeleteThat is a GREAT idea! No I understand the deodorant thing. I have put on Paul's robe at home when he has been in the hospital and I have had to come home.
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