A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

A blog about my life, fitness and fun! (...and maybe a few cat pictures...)

Monday, July 21, 2014

Rant: Jellyfish.

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I hate Jellyfish. Not the kind in the ocean. The social kind. The people that seem really nice and sweet but somehow manage to cut you down and make you feel bad about yourself via backhanded compliments or social exclusion. They're usually nice to you when you're one on one, but when there are others around, the Jellyfish finds a way to make you feel "less than". Like you're not part of the group.

Bridget Jones (a character created by Helen Fielding) describes Jellyfish perfectly. Bridget's nemesis was named Rebecca. Fielding writes:

“Humph. Rebecca is not “great”; she is a Jellyfisher. Talking to her is like swimming in a lovely warm sea, then suddenly something stings you and next thing everything is back to normal except a bit of you really hurts.”

Do you know someone like this? I hope not. I do. The Jellyfish is so hard to figure out... They seem pleasant, and normal, but something certainly has to be "wrong" with them for engaging in this Jellyfish-like behavior!

I don't like cutting people down or excluding them to make myself feel better. It seems like this is what Jellyfish do. I know I should not let someone else's comments affect me so much. But when I am around a Jellyfish, I feel like I am the unpopular girl in middle school again.


Have you ever experienced a social Jellyfish?
Do you ever let someone's words or actions make you feel "less than"?

26 comments:

  1. Ugh...yes! Not so much in anyone in my social circle but in my family (sadly). I can choose my friends but can't choose my family -- I am not a person to cut off family members because, well, I just can't but I do limit my time with this person.

    I hope you don't have any jellyfish in your life!!

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    1. Unfortunately it is tricky when it is family! Or co-workers. You can't get rid of those!

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  2. Yikes! I'm so sorry you are feeling like this.

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    1. Once I realized how this person was, it didn't hurt as bad. Like Ali said, it was the initial shock.

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  3. I have never heard of the term "jellyfish" used like this before. But it makes sense. I think blogging and social media can be great but we also have that backlash. I know we have the right to say what we please but sometimes people need to really stop and think about it. It can be very hurtful and leave us upset. It definitely happens to me. Hopefully you can forget about this "jellyfish" soon!

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    1. I never even though about it in the blogging world but you are so right.

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  4. Oh dear....I do not like those people either! I love Bridget Jones and I remember her saying those exact words! I am hoping this jellyfish is someone you can avoid as much as possible.

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    1. I always remembered BJ logging all her calories and usually 70% of them came from cheese. :)

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  5. Ugh, sorry to hear you're dealing with a jellyfish! >:( I really would have thought by now people would have been over this type of behavior. It always shocks me when they aren't. We're at the age where we are supposed to be setting an example!

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    1. I know, however, I feel some people never completely mature!

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  6. I've seen these people in many different parts of life. I just remind myself that my life is so much more pleasant and fulfilling and theirs is not, which is why they act the way they do. Then limit my interaction because nobody needs that type of person in their life.

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    1. Very good point about how your life is much more enjoyable than their's. What about their psyche makes them feel like tearing people down? I don't get it. Too bad for them!

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  7. Oooh, I totally know these kinds of people!! I feel I've been lucky in recent years because as my personal view of my self-worth has grown, I seem to have developed an armor to jellyfish barbs. It's much easier for me to just shrug when someone makes a comment or whatever, as long as I already know they're a jellyfish. It's the worst the first time, when you're really not expecting it.

    I hope you're able to remove yourself from these people. They use you to make themselves feel better, and you deserve WAY better than that!

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    1. Good point- the first time is the WORST! You know when I see them do it to other people it makes me realize, oh, it's not me, this is just how they operate.

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  8. I'll try to make this not long-winded. :) The blogging world can be weird, and it can get to you if you let it. There are people who used to comment on my site who just stopped. Of course there are a million reasons why, many which may have absolutely nothing to me, or maybe my style just didn't appeal to them anymore. But, when I've commented on their site, they totally skip over my comment and left a reply to everyone else but me. That feels personal. BUT…(and I have to go back to the book The Four Agreements for this A LOT), it's "none of your business what people think of you." That sounds harsh but it's kind of funny, because it's so true. If you've been a good person, and you try your best to be that, then if someone is turned off by you, or what you write, etc. then it's really their problem and there is nothing you can do to change it. It gives me relief knowing that. I know it takes a lot of my soul when I sit and wonder what I might have done myself. This goes for friends IRL too. Some just never respond to my invites for things, but then are super nice to my face. It's tough not to let that get to you, but then all your energy goes into those people, when your energy could be turning to the ones who ARE there for you! The ones that matter. Anyway, I could go on and on about the subject. :)

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    1. Wowww so many good insights there, Tonya. This is an IRL friend, but you are so right, I should not have even wasted the energy on the blog post. Why not spend energy on friends who do care? I recently found out accidentally that several other friends of mine receive the same treatment by this person that I do, so it is not me that is the problem....

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    2. I would say 99% of the time someone's behavior towards you is something they are going through and has nothing to do with you. Like I said as long as you're being a good person. I STILL struggle with this…not taking it personally. Have you ever read the 4 agreements? Short book, but it's awesome!

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    3. I have not but I just ordered it for my brother! He wanted me to send him some books so.... Maybe I will get one for me too :)

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  9. Yes! Many of them but luckily no one really close. Always make me feel like I've gone back in time to middle school!

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    1. I'm glad it's no one close. :) Damn Jellyfish.

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  10. I don't think I have ever heard that term but I totally get it.
    Sadly I do know someone who fits this description - over the past year I have started to remove myself from that situation.

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  11. Never heard of this term but I definitely know someone like this! They're always superior and nothing I do is good/cool enough.

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    1. Ugh, I hope you don't have to be around this person a lot.

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  12. I learned a new term today. Sadly working at schools and around so many women over the years I've seen a many jellyfish. I will say I let people affect me a lot more in my 20's and 30's. I would feel crushed over stuff, the one good thing about my 40's for me has been I really just don't care as much now. I don't feel the need to extend myself anymore, if I can see trouble I can stay away lol

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    1. Ooooooh yes in the work place, especially ones with lots of women, Jellyfish abound!!! Actually I have never met a male Jellyfish!

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