A couple weeks ago, I shared some big news that Paul and I got divorced. While this year has been very difficult in many ways, I know it was the right decision.
When Paul moved out, it wasn't as big of a transition as I thought it would be. Of course that's easy for me to say as I was the one who got to stay in the house. I totally recognize this. All I can share with you is my truth and my point of view.
Once I was living alone, I felt free and like I had a new lease on life. I was surprised I felt this way because throughout our marriage, Paul and I were very independent. Sure, we spent a lot of time together, but never did I feel like I needed to ask permission to do anything. So why did I suddenly feel so free?
Living alone is awesome in that you can be totally selfish in how you live a great deal of your life. For instance, during the school year I get up around 5:00. Most of the time it's dark and cold. When Paul lived here, I had to tip toe around all morning. It's a small ranch house, so it wasn't like I could turn on lights, music, or the television. I couldn't even do light chores for the fear of waking him up. Paul never ordered me to be quiet in the morning, it is just something I happily did to be considerate to him. He would have done the same for me. It's just what you do when you live with someone you love.
But once I lived alone, my mornings got so much better! When I got up, I felt like I could start my day right away. I turned on lights. I turned on music. I opened the front door to let the sunshine in. I said good morning to my cats in that wonderful high pitched voice I use when talking to my kitties. I felt ALIVE in the mornings because I could truly wake up and start my day!
When I lived with Paul, I never yearned for the day I could wake up and be loud and truly start my day. It wasn't until I lived alone and could truly do whatever I wanted that I realized that having to keep the house dark and quiet in the morning was so depressing!
This is one of the perks of living alone and I wanted to share it with you!
If you live alone, what do you love about it?
If you don't live alone, is there something you miss about it?
Note: I'm not saying it's better to live alone than it is to live with loved ones. There are definitely perks to both! For instance, when I was married, I knew there was one person in the world that loved me and was always on my side and would do anything for me. That's a big thing to give up. Being able to be loud in the morning is definitely NOT an even trade!
I have always been super independent and still am even though I've been married 20 years :) I also wake up EARLY (3 - 3:30 am) but thankfully Rick never hears me if I close the bedroom door. I can pretty much go about my things...I've even done laundry, baked, etc. As much I don't mind being alone, I miss him when he's not here. Even if we are not in the same room I just like having his presence here. I am glad everything is working out for you, Megan. I hope Paul is doing well, too!
ReplyDeleteThat's nice you can do your thing without bothering him in the morning! I totally get what you mean about liking your alone time but also liking your husband's presence. I liked that when I was married too! So did Paul.
DeleteThis morning routine stuff is something I never really thought about. I think Scott and I just go about our normal routine and dont really think about waking eachother up. I think our normal routine isnt really a loud one anyway. I am a sound sleeper so even if he was loud, it wouldn't wake me.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I do in the summer is open the front door to let the light shine through too. I'd have that door open all the time if I could!
Well you guys have two stories so I am sure that helps with the noise.
DeleteI love the light shining!
I love that you're getting to start your mornings in a way that makes you happy! Living alone is my DREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! I've only lived alone once in my adult life (and that was my senior year of college), and I'm fed up with it (but in London I can't afford to live on my own, and haven't yet managed to get a job elsewhere). I am a solitary person and really struggle with forced socialisation, and I'm getting pretty desperate for the day where I can putter around, use the kitchen, and control my space as I please.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Cynthia I want that for you SO MUCH. I am so fortunate that after my first semester in college, my parents paid the extra $500 for me to live without a roommate each semester. I got good grades and was sooooo happy living alone. I know they cared about me so much, and even though they didn't have a lot of money, paying extra for that was worth it to them. I then lived alone for 3 years before Paul and I got married.
DeleteI hope you get to live alone someday!!!!
This totally makes sense. I often wish I'd have had the experience of living by myself, before I got married. I'd have been very happy with being on my own with my own routine. It's like you say: living with someone doesn't mean that you feel "confined" or that you have to ask permission, but there is some freedom about living alone.
ReplyDelete