Shit Streak 2.0 (Literally!!!!)

Trouble Sleeping...

Last night (Sunday night) I woke up when Paul crawled into bed... a little after 1:00am. After that, I just could not fall back asleep. I laid there for what seemed like forever. Finally I looked at the clock. It was 3:56am.

5:15am was going to come fast and hard.

When I can't sleep, my mind wanders to the most horrible thoughts you can ever imagine. Think of all the terrible things that can happen or DID happen, and that's what I think of when I lay in bed. I'm sure I'm not alone. I've had insomnia before (just situational, not full-blown legit insomnia), and it is NOT fun.

I ended up falling asleep, and I made it through a full body workout at Planet Fitness, and then another full body workout at school (I'm a music teacher- every day at work is a full body workout!), and then a vet visit of epic proportions.

Don't worry, the cats are fine. Christmas and Jelly just needed their annual check up and vaccinations. But they are a handful. We left for the vet at 4:45pm and didn't get home until 6:30pm. Ugh. That's too long for them to be there.

According to Chrissy, anyway...

Shit Streak 2.0

So Chrissy got very stressed out at the vet, and apparently when cats get stressed, they puhp. Yah, he puhped A LOT. All over the vet tech and the doctor. It also got all over his new carrying bag we got him. It was bad. When we got home,  he dragged his butt across our hard wood floors in hopes to get the puhp off his butt.

Hence, the shit streak.

Yup, we thought it was over, but life had one more ACTUAL shit streak for us to clean up. A shit streak that went from the entry way of our music room all the way into the dining room and under the table.... and then into the kitchen and onto the mat in front of the sink. (Which is currently in the washing machine getting de-puhped.)

I love my cats, so I cleaned it up gladly while Paul gave Chrissy a bath.

Buuuuuuuuuuuut that didn't work. Now there was wet puhp on his butt. And it got under the guestroom bed (cause that's where he hid), on the front bay window (easy to wipe off) on the BACK bay window (ON THE FREAKING CUSHION!), on the music room couch (WHERE PIANO STUDENT'S PARENTS SIT!!!!) and on his BRAND NEW DOUBLE WIDE SCRATCH PAD THAT WAS $9.99 AT WAL-MART!!!!

So Paul gave him one more bath.

The night will now forever be known as "Puhpfest Twenty Thirteen".

Welp, I'm never gonna sleep again... (aka my cats are on a diet)

I was very much looking forward to getting a good night sleep tonight (Monday night) but that is not going to happen. In fact, I'm not going to get a good night's sleep for awhile. Everything checked out fine at the vet except for one thing... my cats are a little... hefty. And since I want my cats to live FOREVER, there's only one thing that can be done to remedy this:

Christmas and Jelly are on a diet.

They are accustomed to a dry food bowl out 24/7. If it's empty, they cry, meow, scratch the closet door, scratch the bedroom door, sit on our face... WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET MORE FOOD.

This is why Christmas is 19.2lbs and Jelly is 15.6lbs. Because they OWN us.

THEY'VE NEVER WEIGHED THIS MUCH, EVER!!!!

Dr. Davis says Christmas should weight 15lbs and Jelly should weigh 12lbs. So I calculated how many calories they should eat per day, figured out how many calories are in their wet and dry food, and have devised a diet for them. They WILL reach their goal weight so they can live forever.

I am so ashamed I let them get so big!!! I count my own calories but don't count the calories ow the loves of my life!!! I am not going to win the Mom of the Year award, but in 2 months, when my kitties are strutting their Bangin' Bikini Bods, I may win the award!!!

Maybe I should become a personal trainer for cats!!!!!!

It's Do Or Die!!!!

So tonight is the night! There will be no dry food out tonight!!! (Monday night) I am sure I won't get any sleep at all. So come check on me in my classroom tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. If I'm laying on the floor, kick me. That should wake me up.

Also, I know I have been posting a lot about the cats. I promise I will get back to talking about running one of these days... I just had to tell you about this (hopefully) last shit streak.

Has your pet ever been overweight???

Share your shit streak stories with me! Can you outdo mine!?