Like the title says, this post is going to be a bit disjointed and ramble-y. I feel very overwhelmed about getting all of my thoughts "out there". So rather than holding myself to some high standard of writing, I'm just going to go for it and throw up everything into this post! I'll go back and edit once or twice, but beyond that, this is just going to be a BLOB OF MY THOUGHTS!
You've been warned!
Over the past couple weeks, as I have been recovering from some Rip Roarin' Plantar Fasciitis (RRPF) and easing back into marathon training, I have had so many thoughts and feels going through my head... and most of them are not very positive or nice...
Why does this keep happening to me???
I'm too old for this shit!
I will never PR again!
Is this the right plan for me?
Can my body really endure marathon training?
Why do I set lofty goals when I am just going to fail?
Even though I am technically not injured anymore, I am not having fun. The UNKNOWN is what prevents me from feeling strong, happy, and excited about my training. If I don't feel happy, excited, and strong, then I am not having fun.
My feet don't hurt now (knock on wood) but I am afraid they will start to hurt. I am afraid simply because I typed the words "my feet don't hurt" that they will begin to hurt, as if the universe is mocking me. I am afraid to STAND UP AND WALK after sitting down for any length of time because I have PTSD from when I had PF. That shit physically hurt and made me emotionally downtrodden! I do not want that feeling ever again. It is silly, but I am legit scared to stand up and walk so I gingerly move around like I am on eggshells. This is no way to live, people!!!!
Of course I wonder why. Whyyyyy did I get PF? Is it Hansons? Is it too much running? Is it going to come back as soon as I hit 45 miles a week again?? (Which is only about 2-5 miles more per week than what I was doing when I was training for my most recent 10 miler and half marathon.)
My friend who is a trainer and knows all about my running ups and downs looked at the plan I am using and she thought that the change in running pace had more to do with it than anything. I went from running most of my runs at an 8:10-8:30 pace to running them all a good 45 seconds per mile slower. That can change my gait and body mechanics and who the hell knows what else. It could be a combo of things. Or maybe I was just going to get PF no matter what. I don't know and will likely never know.
One thing I am not ready to do is throw this plan out. I am definitely open to altering it, but I am not throwing it out completely because the truth is, I wouldn't know what other plan to use. I NEVER USED A FORMAL PLAN WHEN TRAINING FOR A MARATHON!
Maybe that was my secret??? I trained via intuition!!!
HOPEFULLY the hard part is behind me. HOPEFULLY my feet continue to do well and I can do the training Hansons has prescribed for me. If (and that is a huge IF because I don't count anything as a given) my feet continue to feel good, Week 8 (this week) is going to be following the plan but cutting off a couple miles here and there. It says I should have 49 for the week but I am thinking anywhere between 30-35 pain free would be a good bump up from last week's 23 pain free miles. I'll cross the Week 9 bridge when I get to it. One week at a time.
Okay, that is me being all anxiety ridden and spastic! If you read all that, THANK YOU! I am sure as runners you understand everything I am feeling right now!!
And yes, if you have advice for me, I'd be happy to hear it. But only if (and I am sorry if this comes across as rude) you are familiar with me, my training, and what I have been doing these past couple months. If this is your first Meg Go Run post you ever read I really don't need you commenting and asking if I am sticking to the prescribed paces. (Because if you read my blog, you would know I pretty much follow them to a T!) Wow, I may regret typing out this paragraph because I suppose it makes me sound a little defensive, but the truth is it's how I'm feeling right now!
Speaking of being defensive, I got pissed off at Paul the other day. I haven't told him much about my feet or how I have been altering my training because honestly it is just exhausting to think about all day let alone relay to someone else. But he did know they were feeling better and that I was being extra cautious with my running. So the other morning I was trying to decide whether to run or not and he gave me some unsolicited advice... and that advice was to NOT RUN. Well, if anyone knows me, you know that something like that would PISS ME OFF, so I grabbed my Garmin and said "See ya!" Like I'm going to let him tell me what to do, right? So as I was running (pain free by the way) and starting to feel the effects of the endorphins, I realized that I must be in a really bad place if just a friendly, well meaning piece of (unsolicited) advice from Paul would make me mad, even if I was only mad about it for a couple minutes.
Also, I realize this whole post is first world problems as I am sure many people wish the current biggest stress of their life is a bout of PF during marathon training. Believe me, I wake up every morning and kiss Paul and the kitties and feel thankful they are happy and healthy. If anything happened to them, I'd be wishing my problem was PF!
ONE MORE THING! And this is good news! I did a speed workout on Tuesday for the first time since Week 4! I did 4x1200 with 400 recovery. I did a 1 mile warm up and cool down. (Hansons says do a 1.5 mile warm up and cool down but I wanted to shave some mileage off, and not from the speed portion.) Let me tell you, the 1200s were HARD!! 400 recovery was enough for the first interval, but it wasn't near enough for the rest. In fact, I was not technically recovered. I did them though! According to my plan, my speed workouts should be between 6:51-7:10. My first interval was 7:00 because it ended on a hill. My last three were all 6:52. I was very pleased.
I guess that is all I wanted to say. I am sure I will think of more, but for now, thanks for listening!
No questions, I feel like I have too many that once I got started I wouldn't be able to stop!
I suppose... comment at your own risk? Just kidding. I need to take a chill pill.
Sorry this all happened to you and I know the questions in your head are non-stop. I think we've all been there. I do believe you are completely passed the worst of it and that with a successful speed workout you can feel confident in the rest of the training plan! You are strong!!
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you so much because you have been there for me during the worst of it! I feel like you essentially experienced this blog post via FB messenger already! Thanks for listening and being a good friend to me. :)
DeleteWe crazy runners need to stick together! And no doubt I will be doing it right back to you because, well, just part of the sport. You will get injured or overused. But we love it!
DeleteYes I will be there for you!
DeleteAwe man! I'm sorry you're feeling this way! Running should help anxiety, not cause it... although it has caused me a great deal of anxiety too. When I feel an injury coming on or if I am coming off an injury, what works for me (and this is me... not necessarily you) is to dump the track workouts. As much as I love flying fast on the track, it is hard on my legs and I have no qualms with just cutting that and just translating the mileage to easy or tempo runs. If that doesn't work, I'll start hacking at the mileage. Also, something to think about... this plan has you running 6 days per week. I know for me that is new and hard. You could alter things to add an extra rest day every week or every other week.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about being snappy. Paul will understand. I get that way sometimes and Frank is always the one to take the brunt of my bad mood.
BTW, I also love that you sent out a warning to all of your potential trolls who might tell you to quit running forever because running is so bad for you and we need to be couch potatoes always to preserve our legs. If you ever need to talk let me know...I'm on text/facebook. :-)
DeleteYes it SHOULD help anxiety not cause it, which is why I actually even considered just bailing on the marathon all together!!! Like, if something is not giving me joy, I shouldn't be doing it, right? But then I said, well what if I feel 100% in a week or two... then I will get joy from running again. Kind of like, okay, should I bail or wait it out? I don't want to make rash decisions. So yes, thank you or that point!
DeleteCutting track workouts is a good first thing to go. Initially, I had to cut out all running. PF came on so freaking fast that I simply just couldn't run. When I eased back into running, it was ONLY easy runs. NO tempo or track. Now yesterday, I just felt like it was time to test things out on the speed front.
Yes, I am considering different ways to cut mileage, whether that is taking out one day of running and replacing it with rest (I have been a 5 day per week runner here for a year or so...) OR just hacking the mileage a bit. I guess I will have to experiment and see!
Thank you for risking commenting hahahaha! I feel like such a bitch for that warning. But like I said, I am feeling defensive and snappy right now! :)
Hope your ITB is feeling strong with your modifications!
Oh no! Perhaps we should just chill on the beach tomorrow instead of going for that walk? I am going to bring you something to try for your foot if I remember. See ya soon!
ReplyDeleteI am down for sitting on a bench! I just want to save the time on my feet for the running. I am supposed to do a tempo run tomorrow. I may. I may not. It could be a bad idea to do two hard workouts at this point. I don't know! Last week my hard workout was 3 miles @ tempo. This week the hard workout I did was the speed, and my initial thought was to try to do both workouts. (Though if I do tempo tomorrow it won't be 7 miles at pace, like prescribed, I was thinking more like 5...) Oh yay something else to worry and ruminate on!!
DeleteIf you are old, then I am ancient!
ReplyDeleteI can't even talk about my PF right now. Over the weekend, while kayaking with my son, I slipped on a rock and landed--yep--right on my left foot. Totally jacked up my PF. I am besides myself right now. I guess it's good I don't have anything on the calendar to train for. I just hope I can run my 10k this Sunday.
FUUUUUUUCK that sucks Wendy!!!!!!!!! I am beyond sorry that happened. Kayaking is supposed to be a low impact activity right!???
Deletei am not a runner and never played sports but i think a 1 plan fits all type of method is not something to strictly follow because everyone's body is different and there are too many variables that affect people differently your body will tell you what it can handle and your mind needs to listen to your bory if you are scared to get up and walk or if you have a slight pain then i feel the best thing to do is cut back and do what your body can handle its not a failure to scale back a plan wether it is total miles or total speed because your health in the long run means more if you run the marathon when your body feels good then you will do better
ReplyDeleteI have been there, and could not take the "don't run" advice. I've always been active and I didn't know what to do with myself. I knew I had work to do with my injury, but doing nothing was not an option.
ReplyDeleteThere have been times I didn't run because I knew it was the best thing for me... and then of course times I had no choice in the matter, like after my knee surgery! But like you I am active and I was lifting upper body about 2 days after surgery! :)
DeleteWith the PF issue, I think the fear is there with any injury. I was out of running for 7 weeks 2 summers ago and it causes anxiety about getting back to where you were and reaching goals. But, it also causes anxiety about things like signing up for races (what if I get hurt and can't run it), or even running in certain areas. I got injured at the track so for me, it was a huge step to go back to that very same track where it happened. I did throw away the shoes I wore when I got hurt though. Wasn't taking any chances there.
ReplyDeleteI think you will be okay. Honestly, the run pace guidelines for any plan are just that, guidelines. I feel like sometimes the paces in Hansons for the easy days are a little slower than I would like, but I almost wonder if they know that most people run their easy days too fast and typically my easy days are always on the faster end of the easy range, but still easy.
You described my anxiety perfectly! I just feel like I do not have the right amount of anxiety lol. Every step I take is nerve wracking, but I guess that makes sense because that's how PF is when you have it- every step hurts. Other injuries sometimes only hurt when running or moving a certain way, etc.
DeleteI used to only define easy by how I felt. I never ever aimed for a certain pace unless I was doing a purposeful speed workout or tempo run. My ranges were always in low to mid 8s, and sometimes an 8:10 would feel effortless where some days it was an 8:30 that was effortless. In a sense I ran by feel But I guess with Hansons they are just very strict that if you want X goal you need to run whatever percentage of training at whatever pace...
One thing I haven't been anal about is each individual mile on the easy days, just the overall pace. My easy pace should be an 8:51 at the fastest, but if I have some miles faster and some slower, I didn't get hung up about it as long as the average pace what what they wanted.
I have been reading your blog for a few months now (lololol) and I remember you saying something like "I can always start the advanced plan and if I feel injury or burnout, I can switch or modify as needed." It's totally okay to make modifications. The book makes it seem like Hansons is really strict, but they offer services where Hansons coaches will make modifications for you. That is proof that modifications are pretty common with Hansons! They make money doing it!
ReplyDeleteI hate when Adam tries to give me bad running advice. Every time my hips get tight or my IT band is sore he says "remind me again why you run when it hurts you?" I have to leave the room and count to 10!!! or 100! or a million.
Maybe that's how they make all their money! They give out the plan for free and then people pay to have it tailored!? :)
DeleteWowwwwww I cannot believe Adam dared to give you such advice!!! He's lucky to be alive.
ps. Thanks for stopping by these past couple months!!! ;)
DeleteOh girl, I am there with you. We could just chill out with several iced coffees and talk about our running woes for HOURS! In fact, a very similar blog post is getting ready to bust out of my brain any day now for me. So during my incessant pain during my running this morning I keep going back to... so let's say I do pull a BQ out of my ass in the Fall.. then I have to train for *another* marathon again because the whole point is to run Boston again. What if that leaves me so jacked up I can't run *ever* again?? Ugh. WTF. I'm so close to just pulling the plug on the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteSo yep, I've got no advice for you because of my lame situation :( My coach did tell me to just run the "easy" runs at whatever pace I felt was easy (since that's what I'm doing anyways haha!), but the latest revision of my training plan has me freaked out. My "long" runs are split into two days, so that very short 16 mile long run is now two super short 8 mile runs. I'm not so sure I could even finish the marathon on that kind of training. I've got issues. But I was hoping by mid July I might just be feeling better and maybe be able to get back on something close to the real plan instead of the highly cut down plan. Wishful thinking maybe. I want to believe :)
Several iced teas? Can't you tell from this post I need something STRONGER!!! :) Hehe jk.
DeleteI've thought about pulling the plug too. If this anxiety continues for more than another week, I am going to pull it. I do NOT like feeling this way!!
And I understand your worry about damaging your body by pulling out a BQ then training for another marathon. I had that SAME thought while I was at the gym today! DANG WE REALLY NEED TO TALK!!! But seriously, one thing we DO need to keep in mind (and I think you'll agree with me) is that if we do pull the plug, it's not like this is our only chance to BQ. You know what I mean? Maybe the stars just didn't align this time.
I understand wanting to believe, especially since you've had PITA problems before and resolved them, or at least kept them at bay, right??
Ugh I am sorry and I wish I had advice for you but I really think our bodies are a mystery!! My foot is bothering me again now and I am so confused. Even if I rest it, which I will do, I need to figure out what is causing the problem. Otherwise it will just keep acting up. I feel like I do so much research about this stuff and then end up just as confused and constantly question what I am doing. I am drinking wine now and that helps a bit...
ReplyDeleteWine sure does help. I am so sorry your foot hurts again. Know you are NOT alone. I think it's important as runners to share our struggles so we know we're not the only ones who has shit thrown our way.
DeleteI totally understand PF PTSD! I get scared to stand up and walk after my heels hurt for a day or so because I'm just sure it will always be there, or will come back!!
ReplyDeleteIf the PF does continue, have you thought about what you'll do or change about training?
Ew sorry you get scared the way I do! I just woke up and last night before I went to bed, I told Paul tomorrow morning I am going to wake up and walk CONFIDENTLY and not be scared. Being scared has nothing to do with whether my feet hurt or not. They will hurt if I step gingerly out of bed or if I walk out with confidence. (I do point and flex my feet a couple times just to warm them up!) I just proudly did a lap around my house barefoot and confident. Woo!
DeleteSo if my PF comes back I think I will stop training and rest for awhile, then maybe run a half in the fall, If it doesn't come back, I am still going to shave some miles off my weekly totals by other cutting back a couple runs or cutting one out completely. So last week I did 23 miles but I was supposed to do 54! This week I am supposed to do 47. I don't think that's a great idea to go from 23 to 47 so I am going to shave it back so I am doing 30-35. Provided my feet are doing okay. If they hurt, that is another story!
I wish you were not feeling as sucky as I am! :( It felt good to get it all out there.
ReplyDelete