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Sunday, September 3, 2017

Insanity...

Okay, I'm going to tell you something really weird about me...

Sometimes, I have really, really crazy thoughts. Like, if I am sitting in the audience watching a musical, sometimes I think, What if I ran up on the stage right now? What would happen? And then I get worried that I would actually do it!

Or I am somewhere very serious... like a meeting, or a wedding... and I wonder, What if I just stood up right now and shouted "WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALL THIS??? (Or something else completely inappropriate.) And then I get scared that I will actually do it!!!!

Now, obviously I have never done something like this, but seriously, that's what I am thinking sometimes! I wonder what would happen if I did a completely inappropriate thing and then I'm scared I'll do it! Please tell me I am not alone in this...


OMG PS!!!!!!!!! Before publishing this post, I read it to Paul. His eyes got really big and he said, "Oh my gosh that happens to me once in a blue moon and I never shared it with anyone!"
Do you ever have crazy thoughts like this!?
Is there a name for this????

10 comments:

  1. Yes, this happens to me!! I used to have those thoughts, but scarier ones when I was married. At meetings at work, sometime I say things like this, because all the BS they throw our way somedays is exhausting, and surprisingly, other co-workers join me on those thoughts.

    But the crazy thoughts that bother me, is when I want to say mean things to my family. I don't know where those come from!

    Do you have somebody that you can talk to freely? I'm not asking in a judgy way, only wondering how you keep the crazy thoughts balanced. I know you have Paul, but to me, talking to Roger is not the same as talking to my sister, when I can unload ALL The negative and nasty ideas in my head... she keeps me grounded. If i wasn't sharing those thoughts with her, i would have walked out of many staff meetings by now.

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    1. Awww I haven't thought about saying mean things to my family. For me, it's more of the "socially unacceptable" things/actions I am scared I will say! Not because I WANT to say them, but more like, omg what if I did that!? It's so messed up!

      I can definitely tell Paul anything. But let me clarify, the thoughts I am referring to in this post aren't just negative ones, just socially unacceptable. NOw I def do have negative thoughts and luckily Paul listens!

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  2. I always think about what if I would swear out loud in front of my students. Usually when I am reading a book, I think about if I would accidentally just start to swear lol

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    1. LOL! I worry about that when I am at home swearing up a storm. I think, I have to stop swearing at home or I will accidentally do it at school!

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  3. I do this! I feel like we all do. I call it "my unfiltered thoughts".

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  4. Perhaps these thoughts arise because you are such a rule follower! You KNOW you would never do these things but it's a sort of high to think "what if"? That's my armchair psychology for today...lol

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    1. Ooh maybe you are on to something. I AM a rule follower. :) Especially danger signs at state parks hahaha.

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  5. These kinds of thoughts are the foundation of OCD. The next step is developing a ritual that will stop you from possibly doing that thing. This article explained it so well for me! https://themighty.com/2017/07/ocd-suicidal-thoughts-want-to-kill-myself/

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