We needed milk, so I figured I'd swing by the gas station and grab some before I went home. I bustled inside and grabbed a half gallon. I went up to the cashier to pay for it.
The cashier looked to be anywhere between 20-28 years old. It was hard to tell. He was definitely younger than me.
"Is that it, Sweetie?" he asked.
AW HELL NO.
"SWEETIE!?" I asked in my teacher voice.
"I-I-I didn't mean it in a bad way," he stammered. I clearly scared the crap out of him.
I paid for my milk.
"Happy Holidays," he offered.
"Happy Holidays," I muttered back, avoiding eye contact.
He surely went home that night and complained about the BITCH who flipped out because he called her "Sweetie". But I hope eventually he realized he was wrong.
At least I scared him!
Our president elect may be able to brag about grabbing women by the pussy, but it will be a COLD DAY IN HELL before a man who is NOT my husband and who is NOT my uncle is allowed to call me "Sweetie".
Men, please do not call women you don't know "Sweetie" (or similar). I'm told it may be a common thing in the south, but up here in PA, it's a no go.
Ooooh, kitty's got claws! I do call the little ones I see in clinic sweetie, but that's as far as it goes for me.
ReplyDeleteNow call me ma'am (unless you are southern, and have that great accent) and watch me go...
I never really liked ma'am either but after this experience I can appreciate the ma'am is at least a sign of respect.
DeleteThis makes me cringe so much. I don't want anyone to call me sweetie, even Adam. I know this is colored through my own filter/interpretation, but to me sweetie is something you call a small child or a pet. I sometimes call Cecil sweetie. I don't want to be called sweetie by any other adult, period. I am a crazy feminist though! :D
ReplyDeletePaul and I have peto names for each other... doodle, doodlez doodlebug, baber, baberz... we like to add a z to the endsearch of words I guess!
DeleteI was just so taken aback that the cashier would call a grown ass woman sweetie. This is not the 1950s.
Oh for sure! Adam calls me baby and I answer to that ...although when we first started seeing each other and he called me baby for the first time I told him I was not a baby and he should not call me that. He respected that and called me honey for a long time. Then one day I woke up and decided it was okay for him to call me baby and I told him he could start saying that. I'm a literal crazy person! :D
DeleteLiving in the South I can say this is a common thing. I do believe it is generational (of course, a lot of the younger people here are transplants). It doesn't bother me so much if it's an older person, like the 60-year-old lady who waits on us at the diner (she probably grew up here and we remind her of her children). However... it would bother me coming from a male, but especially a young male, and someone working in a store. That's a bit creepy.
ReplyDeleteYes, it could come off as creepy with it being a man at a store. This kid, he was so unaware. I'm glad I informed him. :) Although I am sure he just called me a bitch when I left!
DeleteI understand the older waitress at a diner thing. I truly wouldn't mind if she called me sweetie.
We do NOT say shit like that up here, even though Canadians are notorious for being polite. Saying "honey" and "sweetheart" come across as even just a bit condescending. Andrew's ex wife brings out those terms in her syrupy voice when she's around me. My step kids tell me she only calls them those names when I'm there. It's almost like a controlling thing. I dunno. I love nicknames but I like cool ones, and nicknames are only for loved ones. Andrew and I call each other "baby" for fun to gross each other out and then we'll throw our heads back and laugh.
ReplyDeleteHoney and sweetheart can definitely sound condescending if you say it a certain way... which sounds like the way Andrew's ex says it!
DeletePaul and I call each other all kinds of things. Doodle, doodles, baber, baberpop!
There is a Puertorican Restaurant that I go to in Harrisburg, where the owner, who is a woman, calls me Mi Amor ( My love) or Hermosa (beautiful) She is about the only person I tolerate this from.
ReplyDeleteI can understand why. I feel like it's way different if it's the opposite sex.
DeleteAh yes... I deal with several people who are Southern and yep, they call me sweetie. I guess it's a "thing" there, but certainly not here in Ohio either!! Although thinking about this... I do call my son Sweetie, but that's different!
ReplyDeleteOh absolutely, that is completely different!
DeleteTone is important for sure! This guy did not say it in a rude tone, but clearly he did not know I was a bat shit crazy feminist hahaha! I could totally see you telling some dude to take a hike!
ReplyDeleteAs for your question about calling some of the kids at school sweetie, my first instinct is that it's not rude because you are older than them and it sounds motherly and loving in not a weird way at all.
Only my mom calls me sweetie. If they have to have an endearment, make it ma'am. I'm used to ma'am since I was in Texas for almost 8 years.
ReplyDeleteAh, so Texans do the ma'am thing? Very interesting! While I feel old when people call me that, it is a form of respect, so I can appreciate it.
DeleteOne thing I really hate about living in FL is that I wasn't raised with this "southern hospitality" BS everyone seems to do. So talking to strangers in line at the store? In the elevator? Pet names all the time? Like...all of that drives me freaking nuts. On the one hand, I get trying to be happy and make someone's day a little brighter by being cheerful but on the other hand, just like me get my shit and get going, you know?
ReplyDeleteI love that you call people out for this kind of stuff. I know people get into the habit of using pet names and they don't mean anything by it, but it's really not okay to use infantile, cutesy names when talking to complete strangers.
Yup. This was a straight up man, who was CLEARLY younger than me. NO MAN gets to call me sweetie, no matter your age. It can be creepy, it can be condescending, it is just plain rude. I mean, I'm coming home from a long day at work, freaking RUNNING SHIT and I go to by milk and I get "sweetie"???? I am sooooooooo many things other than just a freaking piece of female meat.
DeleteI never call them sweetie because it just doesn't flow of my tongue, but if I don't know a young student's name and need to get their attention I use "buddy" or "hon" or "kiddo"...for either gender.
ReplyDelete