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Sunday, April 10, 2016

Domestic Forensics

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Domestic Forensics. It happens all the time in our house. Domestic Forensics is when you figure out what someone in your house was up to just by noticing clues. It is not, I repeat, NOT the same as snooping. Snooping is when you are sneaking around looking for stuff. Domestic Forensics is when you notice your weights aren't lined up exactly right, so you know your husband was using them.

(I have a theme song for Domestic Forensics. I wish you could hear it because it's pretty funny.)

On Saturday, Domestic Forensics in the Michael-Cooney household was in full swing. I woke up around 9:00am and walked straight to the bay window in the music room (our front room) because I wanted to see how much it snowed. Then I went about my morning making coffee, doing my puzzle, etc. Paul was still sleeping by the time I was getting ready for my run. I was zipping around the house getting all of my stuff in order and walked through the music room. It was THIS trip into the music room that I saw blood on the floor! And not just a drop, but several significant little... I don't want to say puddles, but it was more than droplets. 

Here, see for yourself.


That's the full crime scene. Here are some close ups.







Since I had been chillin' with the kitties all morning, I knew they were fine and not injured, so my first thought was PAUL! Had he hurt himself? He was sleeping soundly in bed beside me but hadn't gotten home until about 3:00am the night before. Did he injure himself while he was out with his friends and didn't notice he was still bleeding when he got home? Or did he have a seizure? One time, he had a seizure in bed and didn't know it. He cut his face on our bedside table and threw up on the floor. He haphazardly cleaned everything up but didn't really remember it. He bled all over the floor during this time. Had something like that happened again? (Note: I was at work when that all went down.)

I woke Paul up and asked him if he hurt himself. He said no. "Well there's blood all over the floor in the music room," I told him. He insisted it wasn't his blood. Okay, I believed him.

Was it my blood!? I had cut my toenails the night before and sometimes I cut them a little too short. No, that was ridiculous. Did I get my period!? I know that sounds silly but I was running out of ideas!

I checked over the cats. Chrissy and Jelly didn't have an ounce of blood on them. I rifled through their fur but didn't find a thing. As you can tell by the pics, the amount of blood was significant. Surely I'd be able to find such an injury that would cause bleeding like that. But they didn't even have blood on their paws.

The only thing I could think of was that there was a mouse or something and Christmas killed it. But then where the hell was the mouse? We looked all over the house... under all the furniture and even ON the furniture. There was no dead animal. Had he eaten the entire thing? I feel like there would have been more of a mess, or some sort of remnants if he did that. I know he's a pig, but he can't swallow bones, can he??? And if he had bit into a mouse or something, shouldn't there be blood on his face that he wasn't able to clean off?

IT'S STILL A HUGE MYSTERY TO ME AS TO WHAT HAPPENED!!!! I wish we could get DNA analysis of the blood. It's got to belong to either me, Paul, Christmas, or Jelly. UNLESS....

Okay, this is the most far-fetched idea I can think of but what if someone broke into the house last night while I was sleeping and before Paul got home? What if Christmas attacked an intruder and they bolted? Cat bites hurt. Believe me, I know. Our doors were locked, and logically, wouldn't I have heard this all go down? But I didn't even wake up last night when Paul got home.

Actually, my little brother may be on to something...


Tyler Michael I stopped by last evening to get my fanny pack that I left there last game night. I was in the area and let myself in with the key you gave us. I didn't want to wake you because it was so late. After retrieving the fanny pack, I got incredibly thirst and helped myself to a glass of 1% milk. After relaxing on your music room couch and finishing the milk, I stood up to walk back to the kitchen. I dropped the glass. My bat-like reflexes kicked in and I attempted to cradle the fall with my foot. The glass broke when it hit my shoe and cut my leg. There were only 3 pieces I cleaned it up very well with a wet paper towel in case smaller grainy pieces existed. I must have bled a little on the floor after cleaning up the glass. It was really dark and I didn't want to wake you guys. I'll try to find you a matching glass at goodwill sometime. We go often.
UnlikeReply144 mins

Megan Michael LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys, WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED????!!!!

22 comments:

  1. Wow--that is crazy. It would drive me nuts not to know what happened.

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    1. I know. Next step it to search again for a mouse carcass and snoop in the litter box for poop w/ bones.

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  2. Living with 2 teenage boys lends to quite a bit of domestic forensics. They ain't talkin', if you know what I mean. Mama has become quite the detective. I confess that there has been some snooping at times. I believe that living here is a license to unexpected searches.

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    1. Well I can't say I disagree with you when it comes to children. Momma knows best! I know they are boys and probably don't have a diary, but I think I would have to draw the line at something like that!

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  3. That is nuts!!!! I'd be highly suspicious of a mouse carcus somewhere still in the house. Otherwise a hairball gone bad???

    As someone who watches X files reruns on the reg I totally played the theme song in my head. ;) I hope you had your black trench coat/blazer on with your gloves and crime tape around...lol.

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    1. LOL I did not get dressed up but I did leave the crime scene as is and didn't clean it up until very very late last night. I thought if I had more time to look at it and think about it I may come up with the solution.

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  4. OMG this is hilarious, and I totally want to hear the theme song. And that is some significant droppage of blood! And then a smear... Love that thought you got your period. Total girl move. It is always obvious what happens around my house, especially as there are very few of us. No mysteries there!

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    1. I was just grasping at straws! Yah it's only me and my hubby but with two cats, they sure can do a lot of damage during the night. I guess we should call it Feline Forensics.

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  5. Ha! THat would drive me NUTS! Here is my crack...I don't think it is blood. It is too red. Blood dries a brownish/red color...
    However, what actually transpired?? Who knows? Intriguing!!

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  6. Is that blood though? It looks so dark and thick? I don't know if the cats would have eaten a mouse. Cecil begs for treats all day long, but the couple of times he's actually caught a lizard or something he's killed it and left it. I don't think our spoiled house cats know that they can eat something not served in a nice bowl or hand fed to them! lol

    I have no idea what it could be though! Such a mystery!

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    1. I'm pretty sure it's blood. What the hell else would it be?? Reddish poop that didn't smell?

      You have a good point about spoiled house cats probably not eating an entire mouse. Maybe it was a little mole or something? So mysterious.

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    2. Hmmm it looks like raspberry vinaigrette to me. Maybe someone broke in and made themselves a salad!

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  7. One of the kitties didn't throw up or poop blood right?? Was it dried when you spotted it?? Crazy!

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    1. Yup it was dried! I do not know... hopefully it wasn't thrown up blood! :( They seem fine.

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  8. Now that I look at it, it really doesn't look like blood - the color is too pink/purple-ish. But if it is, I doubt it's from an animal - there would likely be more smears and bigger blotches. It looks like just a bunch of little drops, like someone had a bloody nose or something. I see there's a trail - where does it lead to? Oh man that would drive me crazy not being able to figure that out.

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    1. Actually now that I think about it, a mouse is small enough that it would make those kind of marks being killed. It looks like one of the cats killed one and carried it away maybe? Okay now I'm the one who needs to stop playing detective lol.

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    2. The blood went into the middle of the dining room and stopped. It was very light colored there. Maybe they took the animal in there?

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  9. I cracked up when I saw these pictures on FB. As a cat owner, I'm going with your cat caught something and ate it. For sure. We had this gray outdoor cat once that would bring home animals and like 3/4 of them were missing because he ate it. Hahah!

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    1. Ewww! Christmas never ate anything other than a bug, but I guess I wouldn't put it past him. I am just surprised he it the WHOLE thing.

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