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Sunday, June 23, 2019

Our New Lives

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What I am about to say will not come as a shock to my "real life" friends, but I realize to most of my blog readers, what I'm sharing will come as some unexpected news.

Many of you have noticed that Paul has been absent from the blog for the past several months. This is why. We filed for divorce in March, he moved out in April, and our divorce was finalized a few days ago.

Believe me, I never thought Paul and I would get divorced. When I got married, I intended for it to be forever. But no one can predict how life will turn out. We think we know, but we don't.

Life is long. I know Paul and I will both find happiness. Our separation was amicable. We remain friends. I just talked to him on the phone for 45 minutes the other day and it was wonderful. I think we are both adjusting to our new lives as well as can be expected.

That's not to say things haven't been difficult. I can't speak for Paul, but the past nine months have been the most difficult time in my life. My close friends know this. They have been there for me and I can't thank them enough. I feel like I have been taking from my friends. But that's what friends are for, right? They're supposed to be there for you when you need them the most. I feel incredibly lucky that I have so many people there for me when I don't have the energy to give anything back.

My family is extremely supportive as well. I was so scared to tell my parents our decision, but of course they support us and just want us to be happy. They love both Paul and I.

Here are some of the logistics, because I am sure you are wondering. I am remaining in our house with the cats. (For now, I am hoping Paul will accept half custody of the cats because they miss him! But that's a whole other story.) I refinanced and am officially a single girl homeowner! Paul bought a house that's a half mile from his NEW JOB! (So he is a single boy homeowner!) He is an Account Acquisition Specialist for Healthy Hemp Solutions. Paul loves his house and he loves his job. He loves living alone. 

I love living alone too, but that's not to say I don't get lonely. I know divorce is the best decision for both of us but it was really, really hard. These past several months have sucked so bad. 

Paul and I do NOT regret our 10 happy years of marriage. We would not erase them. Getting married was not a mistake. It was just time for it to end and move on.

Obviously, this whole life change is one of the reasons I have been absent from the blog for a long time. First of all, I was very sad and anxious a lot of the time and didn't have the focus to write. And everything that was going on in my life wasn't appropriate to share with the internet. 

In the future, I do intend to write more about about my new life and some of the difficult feelings (and happy feelings!) I am going through. Paul knows this. And he knows I will never, ever violate his trust on the blog or share anything that would be inappropriate or was intimate to our marriage and separation. I hold our relationship in very high regard, so I won't share things that would go against that. But I will open up more about my new life and how I am adjusting.

I hope you'll stick around for the ride!

30 comments:

  1. Megan, I am so sorry for what you have been through. A 10 year marriage is not a failure. Yes it's hard when it ends (disclaimer: I haven't been through it, my husband has and I'm repeating his thoughts) but things do get better and when the marriage ends the problems in the marriage end also. What I can speak to is that being single can mean being lonely but there is also an awesome side to it. You're awesome and I'm rooting for you!

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    1. Thanks so much for the words of wisdom! I definitely don't think it was a failure. It was a successful 10 year marriage! If we had stayed together longer and remained unhappy, then it could have turned into a failure!

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  2. I am always here for you, girl. Thank you for trusting me with your life and your feelings as you have navigated this past year. I want nothing but happiness for both you and Paul. Love you xo

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    1. I love you Susan! Thank you for always being there for me. You were there for me in some of my darkest moments.

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  3. Hey Megan, I don't comment a lot but I'm still reading some of the posts and obviously following you on Facebook, even though I got to know you through this blog. I'm really sad to hear about the last few months and all the changes as well as the divorce, but I'm glad that your marriage has ended on good terms, at least, and that you and Paul are both safe and adjusting to your new lives. Like everyone else is saying, I'm just an online person, but I'm here for you and will definitely keep reading and stick around for the ride.

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    1. Thanks Amy! I really appreciate your support. I think the worst is over. I hope it is!

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  4. Megan,
    I am sorry for the stress and unhappiness that this process has caused. Divorce is hard but not a failure. It just does not always work and an unhappy marriage is unhealthy. I hope that you find your zone soon. You are a lovely woman with loads of talent and energy. Use that and know that many folks love you. (Even though we are miles apart on some issues), I am one of those folks. Sending love your way. Donna

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    1. Thanks Donna! I agree, I do not feel like we failed. I feel like we had a successful 10 year marriage!

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  5. You know we’ve got you girl! I have missed your blog and am happy to see it again!��

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  6. I could tell that something "big" was going on behind the scenes. I am sad to hear about your divorce, but I am also glad it was the right decision for you both and you can now both move forward with your lives.
    Ending such a long relationship is never easy, he was such a big part of your life, but sometimes it's the right decision. Thanks for opening up and sharing your new life with us.

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  7. I had wondered a bit about Paul's whereabouts, but was hoping it wasn't health related.

    I hope you're feeling more settled now and that this summer gives you some well-deserved relaxation time before the next school year! I know I'm a newish reader (so I feel really oddly one-sided in this!) but I am definitely sending you good wishes :)

    Also, I did a trail 10k this morning and thought of you (as you're now my automatic association with trail running). If you ever come to London, I have at least one trail to direct you towards!

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    1. Nice! How was the trail race??? I am honored to be associated with a trail. :)

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    2. It was beautiful, but hilly and humid (well, for London)! I did not appreciate the grassy uphill stretch smack in the middle :p

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  8. I know Karen, it's sad! Paul is still one of my favorite people on the planet!! I really appreciate your kind words of comfort, Karen!

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  9. I'm so sorry to hear about the hard time! But it sounds like you have a lot of support from your friends and family and that things ended amicably. Fingers crossed that things begin to get easier.

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  10. I was wondering about Paul - and I'm glad to hear there was not a medical issue involved. I'm sorry this has happened. Glad you have a strong support system. It's such a tough thing to go through alone. Thanks for sharing - and I'll be here to read whatever you want to share going forward!

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    1. No Paul's health is great! And he knows I'm always there for them on that front.

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  11. Just here to say I love you! :) <3

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  12. Your blog readers are here for you! A beautiful ten year marriage with a mutually respectful transition is an inspiration.

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  13. Megan, I know what you are going through. My ex and I divorced after 10 years also. It is a difficult time not only now but in the months ahead. Stay strong, allow your emotions to emote when needed and lean on you friends and family when you need them. You will get thru this. Thinking of you both.

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    1. Thank you so much for the wisdom and kind words, Cinde.

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  14. I was kind of thinking this had maybe happened as I had noticed his absence. Even right decisions can be devastating. However, I've also noticed you seem to have a new strength about you lately. You both have a lot to look forward to.

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    1. Thank you, I hope I have the strength! I definitely feel more independent and strong, both skills I will need moving forward!

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