But the night before these runs, I had a breakdown. I bawled my eyes out. My knee was pulsating from the second set of squats we added at PT a couple hours earlier. These weren't even full body weight squats- they were assisted with the TRX machine.
I went to PT because of my nerve, but then they got my hopes up that they could fix my knee. I don't think my knee will ever be fixed. I do my PT exercises EVERY DAY and a month and a half later I can't even do two sets of ten less than body weight squats.
I was just sick with sadness and wished I hadn't gotten my hopes up that someday I'd be able to squat, lunge, and lift lower body. I had already accepted that I would never be able to do all the things I wanted to do, and now it was brutal having to accept it all over again.
I told Paul I'm sick of having the WILL to do SO MUCH MORE with my running AND lifting, but my body won't let me. I bawled and bawled and then went to bed. I don't normally cry about running/lifting because it seems like such a frivolous thing to cry about, and crying is not going to make anything better, but I couldn't help it because it wasn't just sadness I was feeling but ANGER that all the work I had been doing and the small fortune I was spending wasn't helping anything...
Wow, that's quite an introduction to what was supposed to be a happy post about two awesome summertime runs! But I needed to explain the breakdown I had so you can fully understand why these two runs were so joyous...
On Tuesday, I had my first REAL run of the summer, meaning it was the first time I ran where it actually felt like it was summertime!
I ventured out after my piano lessons were over- noon. It was VERY hot and sunny, around 85 degrees. I was so excited to run in the sweltering heat!
For some reason, I knew this would be the best run I've had in awhile. I know that sounds odd considering the breakdown I had the night before, but for some reason, I was optimistic. I stretched and foam rolled before, during, and after my run. It kept all PIMAs from doing more than just whispering to me.
I looked pissed, but I swear I was happy!
I didn't wear my Garmin because I just wanted to feel FREE. I was hot, but comfortable. I am one of those weird people that love slogging along in the summer heat.
When I got home, I mapped out my route and saw I did 4.89 miles. You better believe I went back outside and ran to the stop sign and back to make it an even 5 miles!
I felt a little bit in my piriformis later in the day but nothing some stretching and sitting correctly didn't keep at bay.
Then on Wednesday, the very next day, I had an even better run! I ran run of my favorite routes- McCormick Road to Wharf and around that area. These back roads are so beautiful. I stretched and foam rolled a lot before and after this run but not during. I didn't feel like I needed it. My butt was quiet this entire run and I felt a little tug in my groin but it did not get worse. It was the best my groin felt on a run in a long time, surprisingly.
Yellow Breaches Creek
Bridge to Wharf Road
Again, I didn't take my Garmin. IT WAS WONDERFUL! This route was really hilly. These are the hills I used to run when I was a HILL RUNNER. And you know what? It felt great! I was able to run up all the hills I used to run up in the scorching heat without taking any walk or rest breaks. I'm telling you, I FELT LIKE THE OLD ME. I felt so triumphant at the top of each hill. I felt strong.
Feeling like THE SHIT at the top of Wharf Road.
Do you like slogging through the heat?
Does it feel like summer running yet in your neck of the woods?
Does it feel like summer running yet in your neck of the woods?
Im glad you had some good runs, but Im sorry about your knee. I feel like I can only handle a month or 2 of trying anything to fix an injury before feeling like I want to give up and get hopeless. I just keep thinking one day maybe Ill be able to tell my story and be like "after a year plus of trying x, y, and z I finally did (insert magic cure) and it was all better!" I feel like I read that kind of stuff all the time. I hope the same thing will happen for you!
ReplyDeleteAw thanks Lisa! I just wish I knew what my magic cure was... I tried surgery, PT, rest...
DeleteHey girl...I know you have had so many ups and downs! Its so frustrating when you want to be able to do something but the body has other plans. I do think you have made great progress and you cranked out some awesome runs. You are so strong and inspiring to me!
ReplyDeleteThanks for always being there to listen, Susan. :)
DeleteI'm really sorry about your knee but so thrilled to read about your runs. Maybe the PT is helping something even if you're not able to squat (yet). I think the important thing to remember is that you didn't get the knee pain overnight, and you've dealt with it for so long, that even with PT and a few months of doing those exercises, it may take even longer to heal if it does. Don't rule it out completely because you never know what might happen.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point. I just can't keep paying $30 a session to go do exercises I can do at home. I mean, say it takes 2 years- of course I would keep doing my exercises at home and hopefully get strong enough. But I can't go to PT for two years or I will be broke and not able to buy running shoes haha.
DeleteThat's crazy how you had such good runs after all that knee pain! I guess the squats and lunges concentrate pressure on the knee joints? Sucks. My friend Lora does weight training at the gym and she can't do lower body work either. As soon as she does, she gets injured. She's a really strong and fast runner though, and her muscles are ripped.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what it is. I have tried to find rhyme or reason for my knee pain to pop up. Sometimes it pops up out of nowhere but it ALWAYS pops up after trying to squat or lunge. ALWAYS.
DeleteRunning certainly provides highs and lows. I've been there too, and cried out of frustration. Then I'm high on a race I finish.
ReplyDeleteI guess we have to take the good with the bad!
DeleteThat's great to hear you are enjoying some runs! I don't like running in the heat much, but when I can hop in my pool at the end, it's worth it!
ReplyDeleteOh man you and Ali both get to do that! Lucky ducks! I will have to settle for a cold shower.
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