Thanks everyone for your support. And to everyone who commented yesterday. I read them all but thought I would respond here.
I know it's not like I got a cancer diagnosis or anything. Believe me, I know there are WAY WORSE things I could have been told by my doctor. But my appointment yesterday was shocking. I am someone who believes if you have the motivation and dedication, you can achieve anything, so it's hard to hear that my body is failing me in some ways.
I'm reading and learning as much as I can about the two different injections my doctor suggested. Thank you to those of you who commented and said you have gotten the Synvisc One (chicken shot!) and that it brought you relief. I started a list of things to ask my doctor about the Synvisc and the PRP. I definitely am leaning toward first trying the one that is covered by my insurance. I mean, I suppose if I was rich and had tons of money I would just go right for the PRP but that is not the reality. Especially if it is something I would need 2-3 times a year.
The thing that concerns me though are the claims about PRP that it REPAIRS cartilage. I don't know if that is true. But if it is true, maybe that is a reason to spend the money and go for the PRP? I am unsure. Definitely have to consult my doc.
And definitely have to wait to see what the MRI says. What is weird to me is that fact that when I started walking is when my knee seemed to take 5 steps back. It doesn't seem to make sense. I did think I was managing it pretty well... but then I started walking and my knee started to feel really weak and it started to hurt under my kneecap. That is so confusing to me,
It sort of brings tears to my eyes and it may sound very dramatic, but even if I can never workout again (WHICH IS NOT THE CASE, DON'T WORRY, I KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT THE CASE), I have accomplished a lot. It's just my nature to be dramatic and know that if my fitness journey ends tomorrow (which I know that is not the case), but if it did, I did a lot and I wouldn't regret anything.
So that's just a little bit more of my thoughts. I get my MRI tonight and tomorrow I leave for vacation. The doctor's office is going to call me with any MRI results, etc. I am glad I am going on vacation and can forget about all this for now. Hopefully it will take my mind of things.
But obviously I did research OA of the knee and one thing every source I have found says is that the best thing to do is STAY ACTIVE! This is a good thing! It says to stay active and do strengthening exercises! I just need to learn what exactly is GOOD for me to do and what is BAD for me to do.
I want to be active forever. I don't want to live if I can't be active. Sorry, but it's the truth. Can't wait to learn more about what I can do to keep me moving FOREVER. Or at least until I'm like, 90.
This is another bare bones post. No editing, etc. I don't feel like it!
I know you have a lot to think about and believe me, I understand the shock you are in right now. This is how I felt (and still sometimes feel) w/ my diagnosis, too. You are totally right--stay active. Find things you CAN do. Even though I have been honest in saying I would love to run 5x per week, I know I can't. But I have so many things I have found that I can do and I just really try to focus on that. I promise you will get there too. You will have a plan for treatment after talking to your doctor and you will have a plan of action for what your weekly workouts will look like! Trust the process--it will all happen for you. And most of all, have a fabulous trip. What is going to happen w/ your knee you don't quite know right now but this time together w/ Paul, venturing out and exploring new places and making new memories is happening right now. Just enjoy it and know that everything is going to work out (I know, very clique but also very true). I am always here if you need to talk or vent. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your insight, motivation, and kind words, Susan! I am definitely excited to get a plan going. I hate the unknown. But it will feel good to have exercises that are GOOD for me to do. I know there are people that get diagnisises like this and just keep doing what they have been doing... I don't want that to be me! I want to alter my activity in a way that will keep me active and healthy, yet not speed up the wearing down to the cartilage. Whether that's only running on soft surfaces 1-2 a week, adding in swimming and cycling, whatever, fine with me. MAYBE I WILL BECOME A TRIATHLETE!? Ugh, that's an expensive hobby hahaha.
DeleteGood for you! I hear you about wanting to not just continue to work out but do it in a HEALTHY way. That is exactly where I am coming from. I think you can train as a triathlete (like me!!) but still do running races when you want to compete. You would be surprised at how much you can challenge your cardio system on the bike and in the pool. As you know, the bike is where I do my speed training! It's tough but gentle on my body! I have 100% confidence in you that you are going to find a new plan that (dare I say) is even better than before. It will take you out of "running only" and into "lets work the entire body for more overall fitness".
DeleteP.S. move to CO and we can train together--LOL.
As I was driving today, I was thinking how thankful I am to not be ADDICTED to running the way I was like 2 years ago. I wouldn't run every day of the week even if I could because you know I like to lift and stuff. :) Just glad I saw the light on that one before something forced me to.
DeleteYep--that is awesome. Honestly, not running every day and doing so much other stuff has gotten me into way better shape.
DeleteYES! You would be such a badass triathlete!
DeleteEvery time I read Kristen's blog (glitter and dust) I start thinking about how awesome it would be to do a tri ... but I really dislike biking!
Go have an AMAZING vacation, take lots and lots of pictures, be active and enjoy yourself! I'll miss you while you're gone! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kristina!! Don't worry, I have some posts lined up! AND NONE OF THEM ARE DEBBY DOWNERS. :)
DeleteYou have every right to be thinking/feeling the way you do, and I give you so much credit for sharing your honest thoughts on here. I have a feeling that it will all work out, although I know when you are in the situation that can be hard to believe. But will all the advances in medicine these days I believe that you will be pain free and able to exercises in the way you want again.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate you saying that Lisa. :) Thanks for supporting me.
DeleteGo have a great vacation. I know it's hard not to think about your pain but do your best. I believe you'll make the right decision and all will be water under the bridge.
ReplyDeleteThanks Richard :)
DeleteAwww Meg. I don't think anyone blames you for feeling "dramatic" and not just putting on some fake act of "well it could be worse so I'm all smiles and just thankful!!" You're a human with feelings. This is all totally natural and I highly doubt any of us are judging you!
ReplyDeleteSo, obviously I am no doctor - far from it. But as to the walking thing, my first thought was that maybe that hurts more because walking puts a different sort of strain on the knee? When we walk, we strike with our heels, and when we run most of us are more on our toes. Heel striking = the knee absorbs more of the shock. Maybe that's why? Again, totally just spitballin' here.
I'm still holding out hope for you that you'll be able to exercise to your heart's desire one day and something will finally work. But enough about that - enjoy your vacation!!!! We'll miss you but I'm totes jealous.
Thank so much Hanna for saying all of that. I try not to complain too much especially to my husband because he has way more health problems than I do and I am sure he would kill to just have his knee hurt!
DeleteI think you are definitely onto something with the walking thing. It is just a strange concept because I thought I was being NICE to my body by walking, you know?
We're here for you through this entire process! Maybe you'll end up getting into swimming, or something else full-body and low-impact. I'm positive there will have to be an answer out there. I'm glad you're not giving up on finding it!
ReplyDelete